There are two greek words for patience: hupomone and makrothumia.
Hupomone is endurance inspired by hope. It is circumstance based. It is hope. It is perseverance in knowing that this is not the end. Patience. James 1:2-4 says
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
And later in James 5:11, James gives us an example of who had this type of patience: Job.
But the other kind of patience, makrothumia, is different. It is the word used in Galatians 5 when Paul talks about the fruit of the Spirit, it's the kind of patience that is inspired by mercy. It's the kind of patience that God has with us. It is 2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
It's wanting God's creation to know Him. Not wanting one of His loved ones to perish.
It's also forgiveness for when I have sinned yet again. It's mercy when I have a doubt about God's goodness. It's all encompassing love when I need to be reminded of God's everlasting promises.
It's also what I have been called to do when I have been wronged. In fact, the greek word for forgive is aphiemi and it means to let go, let escape. Just as Christ did for us, He broke the chains of our sin...because He loved us too much to see us bound.
This type of patience, that is inspired by mercy, is about never giving up on the person, but setting them free because the love is so great.
What does this mean for us?
Has anyone hurt you? Let it go. Unforgiveness means that you have bound them to yourself. Cut them loose, set them free, forgive. I know, it's hard. But that mirrors what Christ has done for us. Never doubt what God can when forgiveness is involved. Oh my, healing is just one of His characteristics.
Never forget how much you have been forgiven from. Never forget how patient God has been with you.
Live in that Spirit. It's grace.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Sunday, November 13, 2011
I Am Here
Jesus was bold, that's for sure.
He is having this conversation with the Jews that gets a little heated. They want to know who He is but don't like His answers. Jesus is using language that He shouldn't have been. Really. Jesus really touches a sore spot when He starts talking about Abraham. The Jews get really defensive. "Who do you think you are?" they want to know.
"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!" John 8:58
Dangerous words. The stones were picked up and they were ready to throw them at Jesus, but He slipped away.
What was the big deal?
Jesus' claim. He used the unspeakable word. He used the Name that was reserved for God only. So sacred and special was this Name that the Jews didn't even spell it with all the letters, because it was so holy. No one used the Name. It is the Name that Moses heard in the desert.
Exodus 3 is the account of Moses and the burning bush. Out of this bush that was burning but somehow wasn't, a voice called to Moses. This voice told him to go back to Egypt and the lead the people out of slavery. But Moses, scared (I think I understand where he is coming from, by the way) asked, "Who do I say told me to go?" Really, honestly, Moses is asking, "Who are you?" And God answers:
"I Am Who I Am. Tell them, I Am sent me to you."
The Hebrew meaning for this? I am here, really present, to help. He is present.
The slaves of Egypt had been crying out to God and Moses was to go to them and say, "He is here to help. He is present."
Thousands of years later, waiting for a Messiah and calling out God, Jesus came and said, "I am here to help. I am present."
And a couple thousand years later, we, who call out to God in the midst of our everyday praises and struggles can hear that voice as well.
"He is here to help. He is present." Yhwh. Yahweh.
Nothing has changed. The same God who brought the slaves from death to life through the waters, is the same God whose outstretched arms took the nails for me and you, and is the same God who was promised to be with us through thick and thin. God is faithful to that promise.
You are not alone.
He is here to help. He is present.
He is having this conversation with the Jews that gets a little heated. They want to know who He is but don't like His answers. Jesus is using language that He shouldn't have been. Really. Jesus really touches a sore spot when He starts talking about Abraham. The Jews get really defensive. "Who do you think you are?" they want to know.
"I tell you the truth," Jesus answered, "before Abraham was born, I am!" John 8:58
Dangerous words. The stones were picked up and they were ready to throw them at Jesus, but He slipped away.
What was the big deal?
Jesus' claim. He used the unspeakable word. He used the Name that was reserved for God only. So sacred and special was this Name that the Jews didn't even spell it with all the letters, because it was so holy. No one used the Name. It is the Name that Moses heard in the desert.
Exodus 3 is the account of Moses and the burning bush. Out of this bush that was burning but somehow wasn't, a voice called to Moses. This voice told him to go back to Egypt and the lead the people out of slavery. But Moses, scared (I think I understand where he is coming from, by the way) asked, "Who do I say told me to go?" Really, honestly, Moses is asking, "Who are you?" And God answers:
"I Am Who I Am. Tell them, I Am sent me to you."
The Hebrew meaning for this? I am here, really present, to help. He is present.
The slaves of Egypt had been crying out to God and Moses was to go to them and say, "He is here to help. He is present."
Thousands of years later, waiting for a Messiah and calling out God, Jesus came and said, "I am here to help. I am present."
And a couple thousand years later, we, who call out to God in the midst of our everyday praises and struggles can hear that voice as well.
"He is here to help. He is present." Yhwh. Yahweh.
Nothing has changed. The same God who brought the slaves from death to life through the waters, is the same God whose outstretched arms took the nails for me and you, and is the same God who was promised to be with us through thick and thin. God is faithful to that promise.
You are not alone.
He is here to help. He is present.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Dropped Stones
Have you ever just felt dirty?
Have you ever had one of those days that you just wanted to take a shower...just to feel clean?
I wonder how many baths David needed to take to feel clean after he got Bathsheba pregnant and then murdered her husband. I wonder if there were nights when he woke up sweating with guilt. Do you think he was able to sweep it under his rug? I doubt it, he was considered "...a man after God's own heart." Nope, he couldn't just forget what he did.
We can't either. We try, yes, but it always still nags us because something just isn't right.
I keep thinking of Alex's parents. Alex is a 14 year old boy at the orphanage Marlee and I worked at. He had special needs that his parents, I know, could not afford. He was too much for them. And I cannot allow myself to believe that they didn't love him, they kept him until he was 2. They kept him for as long as they could and then they couldn't do it anymore. They threw him away.
It was wrong and I hate the fact that a child was tossed away. I hate that they could see no more options for Alex. Thank God that He could see more.
Found in the garbage by police, a judge gave him life at Dorie's Promise where he thrives. He smiles and laughs and has a permanant home. He is fed and loved and cared for. Alex is alive.
But his parents. My heart breaks for them. That mama lives with the guilt, every day, that she threw away her baby. I wonder if there are nights when she wakes up sweating with guilt. Oh, how I wish she could know that he is alive and thriving. How I wish she could know there is always another way.
David cried out, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgression." Psalm 51:1
And at that moment he was clean. He was forgiven. He was free.
And then David's goal, "Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you." Psalm 51:13
I think David would seek out these parents. I think these parents are burdened by their sin. I think they need freedom.
What makes me any different from them?
He who has not sinned can cast the first stone.
My stone drops.
What about yours?
Pray with me.
Have you ever had one of those days that you just wanted to take a shower...just to feel clean?
I wonder how many baths David needed to take to feel clean after he got Bathsheba pregnant and then murdered her husband. I wonder if there were nights when he woke up sweating with guilt. Do you think he was able to sweep it under his rug? I doubt it, he was considered "...a man after God's own heart." Nope, he couldn't just forget what he did.
We can't either. We try, yes, but it always still nags us because something just isn't right.
I keep thinking of Alex's parents. Alex is a 14 year old boy at the orphanage Marlee and I worked at. He had special needs that his parents, I know, could not afford. He was too much for them. And I cannot allow myself to believe that they didn't love him, they kept him until he was 2. They kept him for as long as they could and then they couldn't do it anymore. They threw him away.
It was wrong and I hate the fact that a child was tossed away. I hate that they could see no more options for Alex. Thank God that He could see more.
Found in the garbage by police, a judge gave him life at Dorie's Promise where he thrives. He smiles and laughs and has a permanant home. He is fed and loved and cared for. Alex is alive.
But his parents. My heart breaks for them. That mama lives with the guilt, every day, that she threw away her baby. I wonder if there are nights when she wakes up sweating with guilt. Oh, how I wish she could know that he is alive and thriving. How I wish she could know there is always another way.
David cried out, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgression." Psalm 51:1
And at that moment he was clean. He was forgiven. He was free.
And then David's goal, "Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you." Psalm 51:13
I think David would seek out these parents. I think these parents are burdened by their sin. I think they need freedom.
What makes me any different from them?
He who has not sinned can cast the first stone.
My stone drops.
What about yours?
Pray with me.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Epilogue
We've been home from Guatemala for a week now. It took a couple days to get back into the swing of things. I am still tired. I am still thinking constantly about the National Orphanage and Alan. I swear that I can still smell the dump. I can still feel the hands of the children at Dorie's Promise and hear their little voices.
So what have we learned?
I am not speaking for Marlee. Her learning will come out in years to come. We'll see what seed was planted and how God will grow her to change the world...which was a big part of the reason for going.
Riley and I look at our girls and know that they can change the world. But the only way they will know how is if we model that to them. It has to be part of our everyday life...and it is! (We invited the Kirby vaccuum guy to eat dinner with us!) But I think it is also important to show them a bigger picture...the world is not like our house. I heard the complaints of some of our family, I heard the words of total disagreement before I went, but we stand by our decision to take Marlee to Guatemala.
Here is what I observed and heard Marlee talking to me about every night after we prayed and before we fell asleep: Marlee felt pain that she had never imagined and was pushed to action. She touched children that are rarely touched. She prayed for strangers needs. She fed the hungry, brought water to the thirsty. Isn't that what Jesus calls us to do? And in doing so, don't we feed Him?
The question was asked, "...but isn't she too young to see all that?" And I have to ask, "...is a child to young to share Love?" I want my kids to know that the world is not perfect and there is a need for the Healing Savior. And we give our kids to God to use them. We want this world, that God loves desperatly, to be a part of their world. Is it always safe? No. We acknowledge that. But is the Gospel worth the risk? We've answered that for our family, you must answer it for yours.
What about me? What have I learned? If Jesus were walking around here today He would have been in the dump speaking with people, He would have been touching the kids at the National Orphanage, He would have been hiking down into the canyon to deliver food baskets. Jesus would have been playing tag with the children and singing songs to the babies. Jesus would be present with "those people." And that's just what we wanted to do, we wanted to be where Jesus would be.
Some have asked, "Why can't you do this in the United States?" Well, we could have. But this time, for this one week, God called us elsewhere. Like we were told that first day, "Out of all the Christians, it is you two who are here this week." We were called to Guatemala for that time. Who am I to question where God sends? And for those who ask us that question...please remember that every other day of the year we are here in the United States praying to make that impact. And I think God allows us to...and please, please join us for Thanksgiving this year if you want to jump in with us.
Finally, we pray for our children. Everyone prays differently for thier children. But for our girls, Marlee, Ella and Maya, our prayer is that they will love God more than we do. And our hope and prayer is that God will show us how to teach them how to love more and more and more.
Our girls will love Him more.
So what have we learned?
I am not speaking for Marlee. Her learning will come out in years to come. We'll see what seed was planted and how God will grow her to change the world...which was a big part of the reason for going.
Riley and I look at our girls and know that they can change the world. But the only way they will know how is if we model that to them. It has to be part of our everyday life...and it is! (We invited the Kirby vaccuum guy to eat dinner with us!) But I think it is also important to show them a bigger picture...the world is not like our house. I heard the complaints of some of our family, I heard the words of total disagreement before I went, but we stand by our decision to take Marlee to Guatemala.
Here is what I observed and heard Marlee talking to me about every night after we prayed and before we fell asleep: Marlee felt pain that she had never imagined and was pushed to action. She touched children that are rarely touched. She prayed for strangers needs. She fed the hungry, brought water to the thirsty. Isn't that what Jesus calls us to do? And in doing so, don't we feed Him?
The question was asked, "...but isn't she too young to see all that?" And I have to ask, "...is a child to young to share Love?" I want my kids to know that the world is not perfect and there is a need for the Healing Savior. And we give our kids to God to use them. We want this world, that God loves desperatly, to be a part of their world. Is it always safe? No. We acknowledge that. But is the Gospel worth the risk? We've answered that for our family, you must answer it for yours.
What about me? What have I learned? If Jesus were walking around here today He would have been in the dump speaking with people, He would have been touching the kids at the National Orphanage, He would have been hiking down into the canyon to deliver food baskets. Jesus would have been playing tag with the children and singing songs to the babies. Jesus would be present with "those people." And that's just what we wanted to do, we wanted to be where Jesus would be.
Some have asked, "Why can't you do this in the United States?" Well, we could have. But this time, for this one week, God called us elsewhere. Like we were told that first day, "Out of all the Christians, it is you two who are here this week." We were called to Guatemala for that time. Who am I to question where God sends? And for those who ask us that question...please remember that every other day of the year we are here in the United States praying to make that impact. And I think God allows us to...and please, please join us for Thanksgiving this year if you want to jump in with us.
Finally, we pray for our children. Everyone prays differently for thier children. But for our girls, Marlee, Ella and Maya, our prayer is that they will love God more than we do. And our hope and prayer is that God will show us how to teach them how to love more and more and more.
Our girls will love Him more.
Friday, September 23, 2011
The City Dump
Another day. Another life. Another situation that is so hard to comprehend. The city dump.
As Joel took us to the National Cemetary, we were ovewhelmed both to the size of this place and the stench. I will confess, I've never been to a cemetary where vendors are selling food. Really. Who would have thought...but really, I've been hungry at the cemetary. The place really is huge. At lease 2 miles long, full of...you know...death. For the wealthier families, they buy land at the cemetary and build a mausoleum. But for the poor families, they get a place in a wall. A rented space. These families must pay a yearly fee to have their loved one there, if they do not pay for three years, the tomb is opened, the casket removed and broken and the body is thrown over the cliff into the dump.
The dump. Twenty thousand people live around and work in the dump. They are workers there...they must have ID badges. This became a new rule a few years ago when eight children were killed in a garbage slide. Children are no longer allowed in the dump, but all adults must have proper ID, just in case something happens and a body needs to be identified. And that something does happen. As bulldozers and pushing the garbage to the edge of a cliff, the workers and scrambling to keep looking for items they will be able to sale.
It is a very organized place. No one steals from another. This is their job. When a truck comes in...I think 12 workers put their hand on it. And that is their garbage, no else jumps in. Their circle of garbage is respected. They find plastic, glass, paper, really whatever we throw away, and they find a use for it. They resale it and that is how they make their money.
I aksed Joel, "Are they happy?" And Joel said, "Are you happy?" "Yes." This is their life. This is all they have known. This is where they grew up. This is what they learned to do from their parents. Do they know thier is something better? Sure. But they are content with what they have and thank God every day for providing their daily bread. I would never say that this is a place that anyone should work or live...but what has to change?
These are uneducated people. The change has to come to their children. Their children need to be educated. And in comes the organization Safe Passage. This school is built just outside the dump. Five hundred children attend and more are on a waiting list. To be in the program, parents much not use drugs or alcohol. Children must attend classes and homework must be turned it, signed. They check up on families to make sure they are following the rules...if they are not...the children are out.
It is a huge difference, this school from the rest of this world. If you look to one side of the road it is brown and dirty and void of color. When you look to the other side of the road it is vibrant with color, it is clean and there is grass.
Children are fed nutritious meals and the day we visited, they were giving haircuts. This next generation, going through Safe Passage, has a chance to change.
Safe Passage has also started a program for parents. Nutrition, parenting classes health and education. They found when kids brought their homework back it wasn't signed...it just had a thumb print on it because the mother's didn't know how to read or write. Most have no more than a 2nd grade education. So, Safe Passage started educating the mothers and teaching them skills. Jewelry making was what we saw (and bought). It is beautiful and for the first time these women are proud of what they do. Their jewelry is being sold downtown and they are being taught how to work in stores and how to use credit card machines. They are so excited to be paying taxes for the first time (can you imagine?). To be part of the program, they get to set up their own schedule and they must attend 75% of time. Fathers are also being educated in the evenings, although not as many. But...some are coming. Safe Passage is an incredible organization.
We also ate a meal with a dump family. Joel, a while back, went door to door in a neighborhood and asked if they could bring people to visit and bring a meal. This was the only family that said yes. They know that every Thursday they will have a hot meal and some good conversation. Marlee and I didn't say hardly a word...we were overwhelmed by the trash, the animals and the day old kittens somewhere beind us crying. There were no words. (By the way, the nieghbors are a little jealous now, seeing what they could have been given.)
Over all, the day was good. Difficult, but good. What I tried to show Marlee was that one person can make a difference. The woman who started Safe Passage, Hanley(?), had a vision. She saw that nothing would change unless she educated the next generation. One person changed the lives of countless more. And I looked at Marlee and I told her, "Just think what you could do? Let God use you to change the world."
Friends...it just takes a spark to start a fire. Don't fear it, embrace it. See what God can do with just one.
As Joel took us to the National Cemetary, we were ovewhelmed both to the size of this place and the stench. I will confess, I've never been to a cemetary where vendors are selling food. Really. Who would have thought...but really, I've been hungry at the cemetary. The place really is huge. At lease 2 miles long, full of...you know...death. For the wealthier families, they buy land at the cemetary and build a mausoleum. But for the poor families, they get a place in a wall. A rented space. These families must pay a yearly fee to have their loved one there, if they do not pay for three years, the tomb is opened, the casket removed and broken and the body is thrown over the cliff into the dump.
The dump. Twenty thousand people live around and work in the dump. They are workers there...they must have ID badges. This became a new rule a few years ago when eight children were killed in a garbage slide. Children are no longer allowed in the dump, but all adults must have proper ID, just in case something happens and a body needs to be identified. And that something does happen. As bulldozers and pushing the garbage to the edge of a cliff, the workers and scrambling to keep looking for items they will be able to sale.
It is a very organized place. No one steals from another. This is their job. When a truck comes in...I think 12 workers put their hand on it. And that is their garbage, no else jumps in. Their circle of garbage is respected. They find plastic, glass, paper, really whatever we throw away, and they find a use for it. They resale it and that is how they make their money.
I aksed Joel, "Are they happy?" And Joel said, "Are you happy?" "Yes." This is their life. This is all they have known. This is where they grew up. This is what they learned to do from their parents. Do they know thier is something better? Sure. But they are content with what they have and thank God every day for providing their daily bread. I would never say that this is a place that anyone should work or live...but what has to change?
These are uneducated people. The change has to come to their children. Their children need to be educated. And in comes the organization Safe Passage. This school is built just outside the dump. Five hundred children attend and more are on a waiting list. To be in the program, parents much not use drugs or alcohol. Children must attend classes and homework must be turned it, signed. They check up on families to make sure they are following the rules...if they are not...the children are out.
It is a huge difference, this school from the rest of this world. If you look to one side of the road it is brown and dirty and void of color. When you look to the other side of the road it is vibrant with color, it is clean and there is grass.
Children are fed nutritious meals and the day we visited, they were giving haircuts. This next generation, going through Safe Passage, has a chance to change.
Safe Passage has also started a program for parents. Nutrition, parenting classes health and education. They found when kids brought their homework back it wasn't signed...it just had a thumb print on it because the mother's didn't know how to read or write. Most have no more than a 2nd grade education. So, Safe Passage started educating the mothers and teaching them skills. Jewelry making was what we saw (and bought). It is beautiful and for the first time these women are proud of what they do. Their jewelry is being sold downtown and they are being taught how to work in stores and how to use credit card machines. They are so excited to be paying taxes for the first time (can you imagine?). To be part of the program, they get to set up their own schedule and they must attend 75% of time. Fathers are also being educated in the evenings, although not as many. But...some are coming. Safe Passage is an incredible organization.
We also ate a meal with a dump family. Joel, a while back, went door to door in a neighborhood and asked if they could bring people to visit and bring a meal. This was the only family that said yes. They know that every Thursday they will have a hot meal and some good conversation. Marlee and I didn't say hardly a word...we were overwhelmed by the trash, the animals and the day old kittens somewhere beind us crying. There were no words. (By the way, the nieghbors are a little jealous now, seeing what they could have been given.)
Over all, the day was good. Difficult, but good. What I tried to show Marlee was that one person can make a difference. The woman who started Safe Passage, Hanley(?), had a vision. She saw that nothing would change unless she educated the next generation. One person changed the lives of countless more. And I looked at Marlee and I told her, "Just think what you could do? Let God use you to change the world."
Friends...it just takes a spark to start a fire. Don't fear it, embrace it. See what God can do with just one.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
The Zone 7 Ghetto
Yesterday we went to the ghetto. It was different than what I expected. Although, to be honest, I don't know what I expected. On the outside it is dirty and in shambles...but the people of the ghetto were wonderful. I honestly think that if I was in need of a place to stay I would be at home.
Our day started with me being sick (again!). This happened on Sunday when we were suppose to go the ghetto. Joel said we could cancel, but I said no, we needed to go. I fully beleive that it was a spiritual force that was trying to keep us away from that place. I say that because of what happened to Marlee.
We delivered food baskets to three families. The first was at the top of ghetto and the last was at the bottom. The ghetto has been built on the side of a canyon. It was a very steep walk down very steep and high stairs.
This ghetto was built after the 1976 earthquake. Most of these families homes were destroyed in that earthquake and so they moved to this canyon and began building. But in a place where it rains a lot, what happens to the canyon walls? Mudslides. So the first family that we gave the food basket to is living in one room...because the rest of her home has been destroyed. When asked what she would like prayer for, she answered that God would provide medicine for her son and food for her family. She then knelt down on the floor, we put our hands on her and Joel and I prayed.
The second family had a newer home...because again...it had been destroyed. She had three children and her husband. When asked what they needed prayer for...enough money for school for the children (about Q30 a month) and for her husband to stop drinking. She knelt on the floor, I prayed and then Marlee prayed. This was when the change happened...this was what I think was being fought against. Marlee's prayer. Now, we pray at home around our family table after dinner every night. Marlee's prayers usually are, "Dear God, thank you for this day, please let tomorrow be nice." Every once in a while she adds in a little more, but this time she began praying for this person, for this family. That her husband would come home tonight and not be drinking, that her family would know that God loves them and will take care of them. That God would provide for them. Her prayer changed in that moment...and I don't think she'll ever be the same.
The third family was a very young family. She was 25, her husband was at work and she stayed home with their 4 year old son. Although the floor of thier home was dirt, it was immaculate. She had a lovely home. Again, her prayer needs were that her husband would continue to work and that she would find a job...and again, Marlee prayed for this person. That they would know the love of God everyday, that God would continue to provide for their needs and that her son would could go to school.
This was a good day. The ghetto was hard to see, yes, but the people were happy. They are hard workers and they trust God. Many people may look at the conditions and say, "They are lazy! They don't work!" But this simply is not true. They are a working class, living in poverty, and believing God will take care of them. And, in reality, He does. From the American stand point, we don't see it. But you will never hear these people complain. That is a lesson we, in the United States, need to learn.
Tomorrow, I will tell you about the City Dump. Tonight, I have to process it. I probably won't sleep because I will be thinking of all that I saw.
By the way, with a new president coming into office soon, it will become a reality that each family will have to pay Q125 per month, per child for school. When the average income of a gheto family is Q200-800 per month, how will they every put a child through school...let alone three? This country has a 60% illiteracy rate, with this law it will increase.
Good night friends. Be thankful.
Our day started with me being sick (again!). This happened on Sunday when we were suppose to go the ghetto. Joel said we could cancel, but I said no, we needed to go. I fully beleive that it was a spiritual force that was trying to keep us away from that place. I say that because of what happened to Marlee.
We delivered food baskets to three families. The first was at the top of ghetto and the last was at the bottom. The ghetto has been built on the side of a canyon. It was a very steep walk down very steep and high stairs.
This ghetto was built after the 1976 earthquake. Most of these families homes were destroyed in that earthquake and so they moved to this canyon and began building. But in a place where it rains a lot, what happens to the canyon walls? Mudslides. So the first family that we gave the food basket to is living in one room...because the rest of her home has been destroyed. When asked what she would like prayer for, she answered that God would provide medicine for her son and food for her family. She then knelt down on the floor, we put our hands on her and Joel and I prayed.
The second family had a newer home...because again...it had been destroyed. She had three children and her husband. When asked what they needed prayer for...enough money for school for the children (about Q30 a month) and for her husband to stop drinking. She knelt on the floor, I prayed and then Marlee prayed. This was when the change happened...this was what I think was being fought against. Marlee's prayer. Now, we pray at home around our family table after dinner every night. Marlee's prayers usually are, "Dear God, thank you for this day, please let tomorrow be nice." Every once in a while she adds in a little more, but this time she began praying for this person, for this family. That her husband would come home tonight and not be drinking, that her family would know that God loves them and will take care of them. That God would provide for them. Her prayer changed in that moment...and I don't think she'll ever be the same.
The third family was a very young family. She was 25, her husband was at work and she stayed home with their 4 year old son. Although the floor of thier home was dirt, it was immaculate. She had a lovely home. Again, her prayer needs were that her husband would continue to work and that she would find a job...and again, Marlee prayed for this person. That they would know the love of God everyday, that God would continue to provide for their needs and that her son would could go to school.
This was a good day. The ghetto was hard to see, yes, but the people were happy. They are hard workers and they trust God. Many people may look at the conditions and say, "They are lazy! They don't work!" But this simply is not true. They are a working class, living in poverty, and believing God will take care of them. And, in reality, He does. From the American stand point, we don't see it. But you will never hear these people complain. That is a lesson we, in the United States, need to learn.
Tomorrow, I will tell you about the City Dump. Tonight, I have to process it. I probably won't sleep because I will be thinking of all that I saw.
By the way, with a new president coming into office soon, it will become a reality that each family will have to pay Q125 per month, per child for school. When the average income of a gheto family is Q200-800 per month, how will they every put a child through school...let alone three? This country has a 60% illiteracy rate, with this law it will increase.
Good night friends. Be thankful.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A Day At Dorie's Promise
Yesterday was a nice day to relax and process all that we had seen the day before. We were able to talk to Joel about somethings we had questions about with the National Orphanage, help organize room in the guest house and play, play, play with the kids.
It was so sweet in the afternoon to find Marlee curled up in bed with Nayeli Soto, trying to get her down for her nap. Marlee is so good with the kids. She just gets right in there and plays with the little ones. Last night she helped give baths and ended up getting in a water fight with one of the special mothers. Marlee was talking about that when she woke up this morning.
Later in the afternoon we painted faces and put colored streaks in the kids' hair. Everyone had a really good time.
I spent most of the day in the baby house. Oh the babies. I just love to hold them. I helped feed them, change them, play with them, put them down for naps and bed time. And I just have to kiss them all...all the time! How I love them. I wish I could bring them home with me.
Today, we head to the ghetto. We will be delivering food baskets and donations. We will also be having a pinata party with the children. Marlee is so excited about that.
Until then...
It was so sweet in the afternoon to find Marlee curled up in bed with Nayeli Soto, trying to get her down for her nap. Marlee is so good with the kids. She just gets right in there and plays with the little ones. Last night she helped give baths and ended up getting in a water fight with one of the special mothers. Marlee was talking about that when she woke up this morning.
Later in the afternoon we painted faces and put colored streaks in the kids' hair. Everyone had a really good time.
I spent most of the day in the baby house. Oh the babies. I just love to hold them. I helped feed them, change them, play with them, put them down for naps and bed time. And I just have to kiss them all...all the time! How I love them. I wish I could bring them home with me.
Today, we head to the ghetto. We will be delivering food baskets and donations. We will also be having a pinata party with the children. Marlee is so excited about that.
Until then...
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The National Orphanage
When I asked Marlee what she wanted to say about the National Orphanage she said, "It was terrible. It made me feel sad. It was very dirty." She has summed up what we saw. It was a difficult place to be. It is a large facility, it looks like a prison, which can hold 800 kids. They have more than 900 now.
When we arrived with our cake to share with the special needs older children and adults there was a lot of excited screaming from the kids and we were trampled (in a good way) with hugs and kisses. Marlee and I painted the national flag on their faces (there were approximately 30), then helped them do worksheets and dot-to-dots (moving their pencils for them) and then we handed out the cake. And, oh, the smiles. But what we could not get over was the overwhelming smell. It hits you in the face when you get there and you just cannot get use to it. Lots of hugs and an hour later they were sent back to their house and we cleaned up and got ready for the teen mothers.
Teen mothers. Some just a couple years older than Marlee carried in with them thier babies, although some of them were pregnant. We had them make a journal (thank you Mary Kroll, we will never be able to understand how important this craft was to them) and also a little project with post-it notes. When we brought out the bling (diamond stickers) it was done. They let Marlee and I hold their babies so they could decorate their journals. We then handed out the baby clothes and blankets. We were hugged and kissed and overwhelmed with gratitude. We then followed them to their house...this was part of our tour. It was nice and we told them how beautiful they had made thier space. A goodbye of more hugs and kisses...and blessings on the babies...and then we headed to the special needs house.
This house we did not go in or stay long. Although, many of the women rushed out to hug us...some with open sores and bleeding, the smell was too overwhelming and turned our stomachs.
We said goodbye..more hugs...and then headed out of the housing compound to have lunch. We were then taken to to the special needs children's house. This one broke about broke us.
Many children, stuck in cribs. Joel said that they are maybe taken out of their cribs for 1/2 hour a day...but just put on the floor. There are not enough workers to play with them and touch them the way they need to touched. When we walked in it was Alan who broke my heart. Crippled from spinal bifida, he came army crawling across the floor (FAST!) calling out, "Mama! Mama!" He had the biggest smile I have ever seen and he just wanted to be picked up. I could not pick him up, but I got down on the floor to move him to sitting position and just put my hands on his face and started to talking to him (I know! I speak english, but sometimes it just doesn't matter, you just need to be acknowledged). I stayed with him a few minutes and then got up to go to each crib or bed to touch the children and pray over them. And that is what I did. Each child got a touch on the face or head, Marlee was little more apprehensive, which is just fine, this was a lot to take in. We spoke to each child and then it was time to go. Not long, but long enough to make us cry this next morning.
This morning, while Marlee and I were eating breakfast together, I said, "It's kind of nice that we get to stay here all day, isn't it?" And she replied, "It's nice not to have to worry about getting sick or being sad."
This place, Dorie's Promise, is such a loving environment. For these 40 kids, it makes all the difference in the world.
When we arrived with our cake to share with the special needs older children and adults there was a lot of excited screaming from the kids and we were trampled (in a good way) with hugs and kisses. Marlee and I painted the national flag on their faces (there were approximately 30), then helped them do worksheets and dot-to-dots (moving their pencils for them) and then we handed out the cake. And, oh, the smiles. But what we could not get over was the overwhelming smell. It hits you in the face when you get there and you just cannot get use to it. Lots of hugs and an hour later they were sent back to their house and we cleaned up and got ready for the teen mothers.
Teen mothers. Some just a couple years older than Marlee carried in with them thier babies, although some of them were pregnant. We had them make a journal (thank you Mary Kroll, we will never be able to understand how important this craft was to them) and also a little project with post-it notes. When we brought out the bling (diamond stickers) it was done. They let Marlee and I hold their babies so they could decorate their journals. We then handed out the baby clothes and blankets. We were hugged and kissed and overwhelmed with gratitude. We then followed them to their house...this was part of our tour. It was nice and we told them how beautiful they had made thier space. A goodbye of more hugs and kisses...and blessings on the babies...and then we headed to the special needs house.
This house we did not go in or stay long. Although, many of the women rushed out to hug us...some with open sores and bleeding, the smell was too overwhelming and turned our stomachs.
We said goodbye..more hugs...and then headed out of the housing compound to have lunch. We were then taken to to the special needs children's house. This one broke about broke us.
Many children, stuck in cribs. Joel said that they are maybe taken out of their cribs for 1/2 hour a day...but just put on the floor. There are not enough workers to play with them and touch them the way they need to touched. When we walked in it was Alan who broke my heart. Crippled from spinal bifida, he came army crawling across the floor (FAST!) calling out, "Mama! Mama!" He had the biggest smile I have ever seen and he just wanted to be picked up. I could not pick him up, but I got down on the floor to move him to sitting position and just put my hands on his face and started to talking to him (I know! I speak english, but sometimes it just doesn't matter, you just need to be acknowledged). I stayed with him a few minutes and then got up to go to each crib or bed to touch the children and pray over them. And that is what I did. Each child got a touch on the face or head, Marlee was little more apprehensive, which is just fine, this was a lot to take in. We spoke to each child and then it was time to go. Not long, but long enough to make us cry this next morning.
This morning, while Marlee and I were eating breakfast together, I said, "It's kind of nice that we get to stay here all day, isn't it?" And she replied, "It's nice not to have to worry about getting sick or being sad."
This place, Dorie's Promise, is such a loving environment. For these 40 kids, it makes all the difference in the world.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Guatemala
We've been here since yesterday morning. We have played with the kids, eaten interesting food (jellied bananas!) and already cleaned out our digestive tracks. I guess there is no honeymoon period when you're only in a place for a week.
This orphanage, Dorie's Promise, is a true blessing to these children. It is a small orphanage, with only 40 kids at max. They are loved, well cared for, played with, educated and taught about Jesus. Dorie, the woman who opened this home, promised to keep these kids safe. This orphanage is in a very wealthy part of town. There is a gated entrance to the district itself, the orphanage is gated and police patrol this area non stop. When she was asked why pay so much rent in this area...why not go somewhere cheaper...she answered, these are my children and I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. What would you do for your children? So here we are. And what will we do?
This organization is very involved in community outreach. Tomorrow we will head out to the national orphanage and do a craft with teen mothers. The national orphanage houses over 800 children. It is huge and in need of help. Dorie's Promise has taken kids off their hands when needed. By the way, international adoption was banned in 2007. There are more Guatemalan families adopting, but it is a subject that is not talked about or well accepted. But it is getting better.
This week will be also heading to the dump and ghetto. I'll tell you about that later.
Our new friend and leader, Joel, did a devotion with us today. And one thing really stuck out to me. There are millions of Christians in the world...but only you two are here this week. God has called you, out of all those people, it must be something incredible that is going to happen.
Please, please keep praying!
This orphanage, Dorie's Promise, is a true blessing to these children. It is a small orphanage, with only 40 kids at max. They are loved, well cared for, played with, educated and taught about Jesus. Dorie, the woman who opened this home, promised to keep these kids safe. This orphanage is in a very wealthy part of town. There is a gated entrance to the district itself, the orphanage is gated and police patrol this area non stop. When she was asked why pay so much rent in this area...why not go somewhere cheaper...she answered, these are my children and I will do whatever it takes to keep them safe. What would you do for your children? So here we are. And what will we do?
This organization is very involved in community outreach. Tomorrow we will head out to the national orphanage and do a craft with teen mothers. The national orphanage houses over 800 children. It is huge and in need of help. Dorie's Promise has taken kids off their hands when needed. By the way, international adoption was banned in 2007. There are more Guatemalan families adopting, but it is a subject that is not talked about or well accepted. But it is getting better.
This week will be also heading to the dump and ghetto. I'll tell you about that later.
Our new friend and leader, Joel, did a devotion with us today. And one thing really stuck out to me. There are millions of Christians in the world...but only you two are here this week. God has called you, out of all those people, it must be something incredible that is going to happen.
Please, please keep praying!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Why
At church this morning, my friend Mark stopped me in the hall to ask a question. One that, as I told him, I was having a conversation with myself about in the shower earlier. I also know that I did not answer it well, and know that I probably never will.
Marlee and I will be going to Guatemala this fall. We are so very excited about this trip. We will work at Dorie's Promise orphanage, go to the city dump and visit the children that live there and also go to a very, very poor ghetto to deliver food baskets to families and share a meal with one family.
But why do we have to go? Why does God allow this suffering to happen? Why must children live in at the dump?
Mark stated what C.S. Lewis said, this is "...atheism's most potent weapon against the Christian faith."
First, what I want to say is that suffering is a result of the fall into sin that happened with Adam and Eve. Everyone has to deal with it. Everyone suffers. We live in a fallen world. It is tainted by sin. Not only are we sinful, but creation groans under the sinfulness that has touched this world. God did not cause sin...but He did allow free will for Adam and Eve and they chose themselves over their Creator.
Secondly, I don't know. I cannot answer why one house is destroyed by a tornado and the next is not. I simply don't know. What I do know is that, "...we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
I know that God's purpose is to bring everyone into a relationship with Him. I don't know why He uses suffering...but He does.
The last time I was in Mexico I was blessed to be in this tiny little village. In this village there were 35 children, a pastor and his wife and a few old women. All the parents were gone every day from 6 AM to 11 PM working in onion fields. They had nothing. The pastor's wife cooked the children meals every day, they cared for them, the hugged them and loved on them. The children had lice and played soccer with a rock. When we came in June they had not had meat since January. They suffered. They were poor.
I would give up my life in America in a heartbeat, if Riley would say yes, and I would move to that village. They had something there that we only dream of in America. They had peace. Hope. And above all, they trusted God in the midst of their suffering that He would take care of their everyday need. They had a faith in Jesus that is so far beyond mine...I don't know if I'll be able to catch up before I get to heaven.
We, here in America, may not see the blessing in the suffering.
We don't have God's eyes.
I do know this: I am not God and I will not try to be. I will go where He leads and be His hands and feet. And I will trust that it is not always for me to understand...but to believe in Him who has called me to share His grace and hope that one day there will be no more tears and no more pain.
It's not the best answer, but it's what I've got and cling to.
Please, share your thoughts with me.
Please, also know that I am not advocate for suffering. I wish that no one would ever have to suffer. But I also know that growth comes through suffering. I want to be in that place...growing. I believe that God is good all the time. But like I said, I do not have His eyes.
Marlee and I will be going to Guatemala this fall. We are so very excited about this trip. We will work at Dorie's Promise orphanage, go to the city dump and visit the children that live there and also go to a very, very poor ghetto to deliver food baskets to families and share a meal with one family.
But why do we have to go? Why does God allow this suffering to happen? Why must children live in at the dump?
Mark stated what C.S. Lewis said, this is "...atheism's most potent weapon against the Christian faith."
First, what I want to say is that suffering is a result of the fall into sin that happened with Adam and Eve. Everyone has to deal with it. Everyone suffers. We live in a fallen world. It is tainted by sin. Not only are we sinful, but creation groans under the sinfulness that has touched this world. God did not cause sin...but He did allow free will for Adam and Eve and they chose themselves over their Creator.
Secondly, I don't know. I cannot answer why one house is destroyed by a tornado and the next is not. I simply don't know. What I do know is that, "...we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28.
I know that God's purpose is to bring everyone into a relationship with Him. I don't know why He uses suffering...but He does.
The last time I was in Mexico I was blessed to be in this tiny little village. In this village there were 35 children, a pastor and his wife and a few old women. All the parents were gone every day from 6 AM to 11 PM working in onion fields. They had nothing. The pastor's wife cooked the children meals every day, they cared for them, the hugged them and loved on them. The children had lice and played soccer with a rock. When we came in June they had not had meat since January. They suffered. They were poor.
I would give up my life in America in a heartbeat, if Riley would say yes, and I would move to that village. They had something there that we only dream of in America. They had peace. Hope. And above all, they trusted God in the midst of their suffering that He would take care of their everyday need. They had a faith in Jesus that is so far beyond mine...I don't know if I'll be able to catch up before I get to heaven.
We, here in America, may not see the blessing in the suffering.
We don't have God's eyes.
I do know this: I am not God and I will not try to be. I will go where He leads and be His hands and feet. And I will trust that it is not always for me to understand...but to believe in Him who has called me to share His grace and hope that one day there will be no more tears and no more pain.
It's not the best answer, but it's what I've got and cling to.
Please, share your thoughts with me.
Please, also know that I am not advocate for suffering. I wish that no one would ever have to suffer. But I also know that growth comes through suffering. I want to be in that place...growing. I believe that God is good all the time. But like I said, I do not have His eyes.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
What I Don't Pray For
My way of prayer changed a few years ago.
God bless me. God bless my family. God bless the food. God bless the hands that prepared the food. God bless America.
That is what I stopped praying.
I realized that my prayers had become self-centered. If I were to really look around at my life, I would notice that I am blessed beyond measure. That I have food in my cupboards (for weeks to come, although it is often something that I don't want to make). I have a healthy, beautiful family. I live in America, where I can turn the tap on everyday and have clean water.
I changed my prayer from God bless to God make me a blessing.
"I seek you with all of my heart..." Psalm 119:10
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7
"Let us come to complete unity to let the world know that Jesus loves them..." John 27:23 (my paraphrase)
You see, I changed the way I prayed because I wanted to pray in God's will. And honestly, too often, I don't know what God's will is. So what I started doing was praying Scripture. What I learned was, the prayers of the people of the Bible aren't "bless me" (although, you do come across it), but they are more, "teach me...show me...search me...hold me..."
I have been praying for God to give me His eyes and heart so that I am moved to compassion. That I can have opportunities to share His love. That I will be a blessing to someone.
I am not saying that there are people who don't need to be blessed. No. What I am saying is that I am blessed. Let me use that blessing to bless someone else. My goodness! My cup overflows!
And when the desert times come (and it will) I pray that I will rest in the blessings that have brought me this far.
May you never forget from where you came and trust in where God is leading. There is blessing, even in the pain.
God bless me. God bless my family. God bless the food. God bless the hands that prepared the food. God bless America.
That is what I stopped praying.
I realized that my prayers had become self-centered. If I were to really look around at my life, I would notice that I am blessed beyond measure. That I have food in my cupboards (for weeks to come, although it is often something that I don't want to make). I have a healthy, beautiful family. I live in America, where I can turn the tap on everyday and have clean water.
I changed my prayer from God bless to God make me a blessing.
"I seek you with all of my heart..." Psalm 119:10
"Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you." Psalm 116:7
"Let us come to complete unity to let the world know that Jesus loves them..." John 27:23 (my paraphrase)
You see, I changed the way I prayed because I wanted to pray in God's will. And honestly, too often, I don't know what God's will is. So what I started doing was praying Scripture. What I learned was, the prayers of the people of the Bible aren't "bless me" (although, you do come across it), but they are more, "teach me...show me...search me...hold me..."
I have been praying for God to give me His eyes and heart so that I am moved to compassion. That I can have opportunities to share His love. That I will be a blessing to someone.
I am not saying that there are people who don't need to be blessed. No. What I am saying is that I am blessed. Let me use that blessing to bless someone else. My goodness! My cup overflows!
And when the desert times come (and it will) I pray that I will rest in the blessings that have brought me this far.
May you never forget from where you came and trust in where God is leading. There is blessing, even in the pain.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Little Miss Ella
On Easter, my Ella did an amazing thing. She could not hold in the the excitement of the Resurrection and she had to tell someone.
At first, when she told us that she wanted to go door to door to read the Bible to people Riley and I were hesitant. We don't really want her going door to door. But we also knew that we she not discourage her.
So after an hour (at least) of begging, Riley went over to our neighbor's house and asked Roger if Ella could read to him from the Bible. Of course, Roger at the moment, was in the shower and so his grandson said that we would be over in a little while.
Little Miss Ella was so very, very excited that she went in and got ready. She brought out a blanket for them to sit on, a plate of marshmellows and two pieces of buttered bread. Two glasses of orange kool-aid and then a decorative goose and metal pitcher that we leave outside. She wanted to make Roger comfortable.
She had her Bible and she was ready. When Roger came across the street she just looked at me and smiled. He sat down on the blanket, took a bite of bread, drank his juice and she read the Easter story from Matthew. She read about when the women went to the tomb all the way to when Jesus spoke to the disciples.
Of course, the whole time Maya was running around the yard yelling at the top of her lungs, "He is not here! He is risen!"
As I sat there I wondered why I was so hesitant. This little girl has such a missionary heart. Ever since she saw Isaac Meyer (1o year old missionary) and listened to his stories about the mission field, this is all she has wanted to do.
It makes me think of Jeremiah 20:9, "But if I say, 'I will not mention his word or speak anymore in his name,' his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot."
My Ella could not hold it in. She is loving the Word of God. And no longer will I hesitate when she wants to share it. I cannot shut the fire up that is in her bones.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
The Best That I Can
It is Holy Week. Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter. There were so many events that happened during this week for Jesus and really so much to choose from. But tonight, I will focus on Peter.
During the Passover Meal, Jesus tells Peter that he (Peter) will deny Him (Jesus)that very night. Peter fights back, "No Lord! I will never do that! I will lay down my life for you!" (This is my paraphrase) Really, he is claiming that he loves Jesus more than Jesus will ever know. And then, that very night, just as Jesus predicted Peter denied knowing Him three times.
Peter is devastated. Mournful. The end.
I know that feeling. Praying for opportunities to share God's love I quietly step away with the thought that, "...the time is not right..." Denial. Guilt. The end.
Fortunately, we do not live pre-Easter. We are Easter people. It is not the end for us. For me.
Looking ahead in Scripture, after Christ has risen (that's right, He didn't stay dead) we see Jesus come to the disciples in the account written by John. Jesus stands on the shore looking out to the men whom He had called to follow Him. They went back to what they knew...they were fishing again. And Peter sees Jesus and jumps out of the boat and swims to Him. The others row to shore and all meet Jesus there at the water's edge. He has a fire going and He makes them breakfast. It is quiet around the fire. They are all looking Him and Scripture says that they don't dare ask, "Who are you?" Because they know it the Lord. They are in awe...that is my guess.
And then Jesus says, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" See, Jesus turns to Peter, calls him by his given name and calls him out on the denial. Really, do you love me more than these...as you claimed not too long ago? And not only that, Jesus is using the agape love here. This unconditional love that is bound my nothing but love itself...the kind of love that Peter did not prove that night.
I am picturing Peter, still devastated and I think he must be hanging his head. The shame and pain and the yes, I know I disappointed you Lord feeling. And he answers, "Yes Lord, you know that I love you." But it isn't the agape love that Peter answers with, it is the philo love, the brotherly love, the love that has some limits. Yes, it is deep...but for Peter and Jesus...it is not what he claimed. And this is what I think, I don't know what some Pastors would say, but I think that what Peter is saying is, "Lord, I am loving you the best that I can."
"Feed my lambs."
And then Jesus asks it again. "Simon, do you truly love me?" It isn't weighed against everyone else around the fire. Just Peter. Do you truly love me? Agape love? Unconditional?
And again Peter answers, "Yes, Lord. You know that I love you." I can hear the raw throat of holding back the tears. I am loving you the best that I can.
"Take care of my sheep."
And Jesus asks a third time. A third time to match the third denial. "Simon do you love me?" But this time it is different. Jesus isn't asking for an agape love...He is asking for a philo love. And this question brings tears to my eyes. Jesus is asking, "Are you loving me the best that you can?"
And Peter breaks down and says, "You know all things; you know that I love you." You know that I am loving you the best that I can.
"Feed my sheep."
And with that Jesus reinstates him...lets him know that his ministry is not over.
Jesus' love is not based on our love. Jesus loves unconditionally but does not expect us to love him like that back. He knows that we can't while in this sinful state. What Jesus wants...is for us to love Him the best that we can.
Look what He did with Peter. Peter stepped up and changed the world. What could you do if you trusted Jesus with your love?
Feed His sheep.
During the Passover Meal, Jesus tells Peter that he (Peter) will deny Him (Jesus)that very night. Peter fights back, "No Lord! I will never do that! I will lay down my life for you!" (This is my paraphrase) Really, he is claiming that he loves Jesus more than Jesus will ever know. And then, that very night, just as Jesus predicted Peter denied knowing Him three times.
Peter is devastated. Mournful. The end.
I know that feeling. Praying for opportunities to share God's love I quietly step away with the thought that, "...the time is not right..." Denial. Guilt. The end.
Fortunately, we do not live pre-Easter. We are Easter people. It is not the end for us. For me.
Looking ahead in Scripture, after Christ has risen (that's right, He didn't stay dead) we see Jesus come to the disciples in the account written by John. Jesus stands on the shore looking out to the men whom He had called to follow Him. They went back to what they knew...they were fishing again. And Peter sees Jesus and jumps out of the boat and swims to Him. The others row to shore and all meet Jesus there at the water's edge. He has a fire going and He makes them breakfast. It is quiet around the fire. They are all looking Him and Scripture says that they don't dare ask, "Who are you?" Because they know it the Lord. They are in awe...that is my guess.
And then Jesus says, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" See, Jesus turns to Peter, calls him by his given name and calls him out on the denial. Really, do you love me more than these...as you claimed not too long ago? And not only that, Jesus is using the agape love here. This unconditional love that is bound my nothing but love itself...the kind of love that Peter did not prove that night.
I am picturing Peter, still devastated and I think he must be hanging his head. The shame and pain and the yes, I know I disappointed you Lord feeling. And he answers, "Yes Lord, you know that I love you." But it isn't the agape love that Peter answers with, it is the philo love, the brotherly love, the love that has some limits. Yes, it is deep...but for Peter and Jesus...it is not what he claimed. And this is what I think, I don't know what some Pastors would say, but I think that what Peter is saying is, "Lord, I am loving you the best that I can."
"Feed my lambs."
And then Jesus asks it again. "Simon, do you truly love me?" It isn't weighed against everyone else around the fire. Just Peter. Do you truly love me? Agape love? Unconditional?
And again Peter answers, "Yes, Lord. You know that I love you." I can hear the raw throat of holding back the tears. I am loving you the best that I can.
"Take care of my sheep."
And Jesus asks a third time. A third time to match the third denial. "Simon do you love me?" But this time it is different. Jesus isn't asking for an agape love...He is asking for a philo love. And this question brings tears to my eyes. Jesus is asking, "Are you loving me the best that you can?"
And Peter breaks down and says, "You know all things; you know that I love you." You know that I am loving you the best that I can.
"Feed my sheep."
And with that Jesus reinstates him...lets him know that his ministry is not over.
Jesus' love is not based on our love. Jesus loves unconditionally but does not expect us to love him like that back. He knows that we can't while in this sinful state. What Jesus wants...is for us to love Him the best that we can.
Look what He did with Peter. Peter stepped up and changed the world. What could you do if you trusted Jesus with your love?
Feed His sheep.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Sinful Woman
In Luke 7, Jesus is at a house to eat. Jesus is reclining at the table. Jesus is going to teach us a lesson. This woman. This sinful woman had evidently heard Jesus speak before. This woman. This sinful woman had obviously heard His message, seen the way He treated people like her. This woman. This sinful woman may have even seen how some of her friends had changed after being with Jesus. This woman. This sinful woman, she wanted what Jesus had.
Jesus was invited to a dinner at a house of Pharisee…and she followed Him there. He had passed by enough times that she now knew that she had to have what He what He was giving. Life.
And Jesus sat at the table-His feet stretched out behind Him or to the side and He was in conversation with the men around Him and He was eating. And this woman. This sinful woman, she knelt down and began to wash His feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair. She took out a bottle of perfumed oil and poured it on His feet. She gave Him all she had. No water, just tears; no towel, just her hair and she spent all that she had on the most expensive bottle of perfume and anointed Him with it. She cleaned the dirtiest part of His body with what she had.
She came to this great Man, humbly. She stepped in front of all these other people because she needed Jesus. And she was mocked and torn apart. She could have slinked away, into the shadows of despair...but Jesus wouldn’t put up with the humiliation. He lifted her up, He stood up for her.
Her faith so fragile, reaching for His hand.
Jesus had passed by her so many times, with His words of love and forgiveness for her and today, this night He was doing it again, "...your sins are forgiven..." And this night, she was ready to be washed with those words, "...yours sins are forgiven..."
And today on her knees with her tears, hair and perfume Jesus took her outstretched hands and pulled her close to the Father’s heart. He took her hands, “Your sins, all your wrongs, your past, is gone. You are my child. You cannot escape my love.”
Those same words were spoken to those Jesus passed by on His way to His execution. His blood dripped, His heart broke, His body failing, but His love bursting. Jesus passed by the people who spit on Him, who pulled His beard, who yelled hatred at Him, who beat Him, who were afraid of Him, who loved Him, who denied Him. They followed Him up the hill to watch Him give all that He had so that He could cleanse what which was filthy. And in His lasts breaths he prayed,
Forgive them.
I don't know where you are at, what season your are in...but know this, "...your sins are forgiven...come home."
Jesus was invited to a dinner at a house of Pharisee…and she followed Him there. He had passed by enough times that she now knew that she had to have what He what He was giving. Life.
And Jesus sat at the table-His feet stretched out behind Him or to the side and He was in conversation with the men around Him and He was eating. And this woman. This sinful woman, she knelt down and began to wash His feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair. She took out a bottle of perfumed oil and poured it on His feet. She gave Him all she had. No water, just tears; no towel, just her hair and she spent all that she had on the most expensive bottle of perfume and anointed Him with it. She cleaned the dirtiest part of His body with what she had.
She came to this great Man, humbly. She stepped in front of all these other people because she needed Jesus. And she was mocked and torn apart. She could have slinked away, into the shadows of despair...but Jesus wouldn’t put up with the humiliation. He lifted her up, He stood up for her.
Her faith so fragile, reaching for His hand.
Jesus had passed by her so many times, with His words of love and forgiveness for her and today, this night He was doing it again, "...your sins are forgiven..." And this night, she was ready to be washed with those words, "...yours sins are forgiven..."
And today on her knees with her tears, hair and perfume Jesus took her outstretched hands and pulled her close to the Father’s heart. He took her hands, “Your sins, all your wrongs, your past, is gone. You are my child. You cannot escape my love.”
Those same words were spoken to those Jesus passed by on His way to His execution. His blood dripped, His heart broke, His body failing, but His love bursting. Jesus passed by the people who spit on Him, who pulled His beard, who yelled hatred at Him, who beat Him, who were afraid of Him, who loved Him, who denied Him. They followed Him up the hill to watch Him give all that He had so that He could cleanse what which was filthy. And in His lasts breaths he prayed,
Forgive them.
I don't know where you are at, what season your are in...but know this, "...your sins are forgiven...come home."
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Yahweh Chelqi
The Lord is my Portion. Yahweh Chelqi. God is all that I need and all that I need is met in Him.
"O my strength; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God." Psalm 59:17 God is secure and safe. He is our Steadfast Love
"You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." Psalm 18:28 We are not meant to walk in darkness. He is our Light.
"For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth." Psalm 71:5 The hope we have in Christ will NEVER fail. He is our Hope.
"I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings." Psalm 61:4 We are hidden in Christ. Though storms rage, they can not destroy us. He is our Refuge.
"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one that I praise." Jeremiah 17:14 He heals even the deepest wounds. He is our Healer.
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7 We have been protected and rescued. He is our Deliverer.
"By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:8 We are nothing without Him. He is our Life.
The Lord is my Portion. Yahweh Chelqi. Simply put, His hand is on us all the time. Whether we believe it or not. All that we need is ours in Him.
The question is: Do you know what you need?
"O my strength; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God." Psalm 59:17 God is secure and safe. He is our Steadfast Love
"You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light." Psalm 18:28 We are not meant to walk in darkness. He is our Light.
"For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth." Psalm 71:5 The hope we have in Christ will NEVER fail. He is our Hope.
"I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings." Psalm 61:4 We are hidden in Christ. Though storms rage, they can not destroy us. He is our Refuge.
"Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one that I praise." Jeremiah 17:14 He heals even the deepest wounds. He is our Healer.
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7 We have been protected and rescued. He is our Deliverer.
"By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:8 We are nothing without Him. He is our Life.
The Lord is my Portion. Yahweh Chelqi. Simply put, His hand is on us all the time. Whether we believe it or not. All that we need is ours in Him.
The question is: Do you know what you need?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Four Things to Remember
The Israelites were in a pickle. They had just been passed over by the angel of death and they were on their way out Egypt. Hurry. Before Pharaoh changes his mind...again.
And they leave. And they walk. And they come to a body of water. What now? They call out to Moses, "Did you bring us out here to die?" Because, see, when they looked back...the army was advancing.
The time seems ripe for a miracle.
Moses tells the people, "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:13-14)
Four things to think about:
1. Don't fear.
2. Stand firm.
3. See.
4. Be still.
As the army approached with the order to kill...they were not to fear. God was in control. At some point, don't we just need to learn to trust His hands? There is army after army that comes after us...set to destroy us. Yet God, is in control. As Paul writes to the Romans, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Rom. 8:31) And then a little later, "...nothing can separate us from the love of God..." (Rom. 8:37-39).
Stand firm. Station yourself. Do not move. They cannot hurt you. Show them that you will no longer cower and bow down to them. Stand in the strength that God Himself gives to you.
Look around you. How far has God already brought you? I look at where I am and I must confess that I am blessed beyond description. Though times get tough, I am still held. Though life hurts, my hope is secure. My faith rests in Jesus and I know what the end result will be. God has brought me farther than I deserve and my journey is not yet over. What about you? What do you see when you look around?
Be still. Literally, from the Hebrew, scratch, engrave, hold peace. With that "...peace that passes all understanding..." (Phil. 4:7) you are scratching into the memory of those who are trying to pull you away that you cannot be moved because God is faithful and true. And I trust that God will also engrave it into my (and your) memory as well.
This week...with whatever comes up...I pray that you can hold onto this.
I pray that your fear will be stilled, that you will be able to stand firm, take inventory of what you already have and that it will be committed to your memory.
Trust God. As hard as it is sometimes. Let it go to Him.
And they leave. And they walk. And they come to a body of water. What now? They call out to Moses, "Did you bring us out here to die?" Because, see, when they looked back...the army was advancing.
The time seems ripe for a miracle.
Moses tells the people, "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:13-14)
Four things to think about:
1. Don't fear.
2. Stand firm.
3. See.
4. Be still.
As the army approached with the order to kill...they were not to fear. God was in control. At some point, don't we just need to learn to trust His hands? There is army after army that comes after us...set to destroy us. Yet God, is in control. As Paul writes to the Romans, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Rom. 8:31) And then a little later, "...nothing can separate us from the love of God..." (Rom. 8:37-39).
Stand firm. Station yourself. Do not move. They cannot hurt you. Show them that you will no longer cower and bow down to them. Stand in the strength that God Himself gives to you.
Look around you. How far has God already brought you? I look at where I am and I must confess that I am blessed beyond description. Though times get tough, I am still held. Though life hurts, my hope is secure. My faith rests in Jesus and I know what the end result will be. God has brought me farther than I deserve and my journey is not yet over. What about you? What do you see when you look around?
Be still. Literally, from the Hebrew, scratch, engrave, hold peace. With that "...peace that passes all understanding..." (Phil. 4:7) you are scratching into the memory of those who are trying to pull you away that you cannot be moved because God is faithful and true. And I trust that God will also engrave it into my (and your) memory as well.
This week...with whatever comes up...I pray that you can hold onto this.
I pray that your fear will be stilled, that you will be able to stand firm, take inventory of what you already have and that it will be committed to your memory.
Trust God. As hard as it is sometimes. Let it go to Him.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Church
I had the privilege to go to Leavenworth, WA for a conference this last week. I was able to spend time listening and learning from a great teacher. But I was even more blessed to be able to meet with other DCE's from the Northwest District and be encouraged (and hopefully encourage them) and held up in prayer.
I have become very aware this last week what I have been missing. I have been in the NW District for almost 11 years and this was my first DCE conference. I have most certainly missed out on the fellowship and growth that I experienced this week.
We need each other. God created us as relational people who have a great desire to be with others...to do life with those around us.
We often miss out on this incredible gift because we think we need to go at it alone, or that no one else knows what we are going through, or that we aren't good enough. Too often we see church as too messed up so why would we want to be there?
So I am asking the question: Why not be there? Church can be messed up...but it is because it is made up of people like me. I most certainly am not perfect so please don't expect me to be when I walk through those doors. What I need and what I offer is to be there for the people who I worship with and serve with. When you need a meal...I am here. When you need to cry in sorrow or laugh in celebration...I am here. Do you need someone to pray for you or with you? What about accountability? What about when life sucks and you just aren't sure if you can make it through the night? Guess what? Me too. And everyone else that is sitting in the pews singing "Amazing Grace."
The writer of Hebrews says, "Don't give up meeting together...encourage one another." (10:25)
At what point did we decide that we needed to go this life alone? When did the church members have to become perfect?
Everyone sitting in church is singing the same thing, "...who saved a wretch like me..."
God is not expecting perfection. He took care that in Jesus.
Love. Forgive. Experience. Hope. Heal.
I have become very aware this last week what I have been missing. I have been in the NW District for almost 11 years and this was my first DCE conference. I have most certainly missed out on the fellowship and growth that I experienced this week.
We need each other. God created us as relational people who have a great desire to be with others...to do life with those around us.
We often miss out on this incredible gift because we think we need to go at it alone, or that no one else knows what we are going through, or that we aren't good enough. Too often we see church as too messed up so why would we want to be there?
So I am asking the question: Why not be there? Church can be messed up...but it is because it is made up of people like me. I most certainly am not perfect so please don't expect me to be when I walk through those doors. What I need and what I offer is to be there for the people who I worship with and serve with. When you need a meal...I am here. When you need to cry in sorrow or laugh in celebration...I am here. Do you need someone to pray for you or with you? What about accountability? What about when life sucks and you just aren't sure if you can make it through the night? Guess what? Me too. And everyone else that is sitting in the pews singing "Amazing Grace."
The writer of Hebrews says, "Don't give up meeting together...encourage one another." (10:25)
At what point did we decide that we needed to go this life alone? When did the church members have to become perfect?
Everyone sitting in church is singing the same thing, "...who saved a wretch like me..."
God is not expecting perfection. He took care that in Jesus.
Love. Forgive. Experience. Hope. Heal.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I Am The Receiver
I am often overwhelmed with my past. There is not much to proud of or to speak of there. I was a complete disaster. And though that is not who I am now...my past does creep up on me at times and slap me across the face. I am a former pit-dweller and every now and then I return to my pit - the one I decorated and lived in for so long - and I allow the memories to wash over me and even begin to choke me.
I am secure in who I am in Christ...please don't get me wrong. I have been rescued and God has no desire for me to jump down into the past so that I can be burdened again. By His grace I was, as I said, rescued and He has used it in incredible ways. Ways that I never thought possible and have brought hundreds, I am sure, to a place where healing can begin. I have confidence, like Joseph, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)
When the old feelings begin, when satan whispers in my ear, I only need to go to Scripture to be reminded of a love that does not end...and does not even depend on me.
In the Hebrew Old Testament there are two forms of love that are used to describe God. The first is Ahab: it means to desire, to be inclined to, to delight in, to breathe after. I believe, as we have been made in His image, this type of love is part of who we are. It is a feeling, a very strong feeling.
The other kind of love used in Hebrew is Chesed: it describes loyalty, steadfastness, a covenant commitment. It accepts moral obligation for the welfare of the person who is loved. It is a kind of love that does not depend on the response or behavior of the receiver. This is a kind of love that is unique to the character of the only God. God does not depend on us to love Him back, He loves because we are His creation. No matter who we are and how hard we push Him away, God remains loyal. He has made a promise to us to love us...no matter what.
"I have loved you with an ever-lasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
The first love is ahab and the second is chesed: " ...I have stretched out commitment to you no matter what happens."
This love becomes very visible when we look at Jesus. Blood shed for a world who doesn't even know His name. In Greek, this is agape: unconditional love.
This love is what I have to keep coming back to. This love is what brought me out of the pit. This love is what keeps me sharing my story to a world who desperately needs healing. This love is redemption.
I am secure in who I am in Christ...please don't get me wrong. I have been rescued and God has no desire for me to jump down into the past so that I can be burdened again. By His grace I was, as I said, rescued and He has used it in incredible ways. Ways that I never thought possible and have brought hundreds, I am sure, to a place where healing can begin. I have confidence, like Joseph, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)
When the old feelings begin, when satan whispers in my ear, I only need to go to Scripture to be reminded of a love that does not end...and does not even depend on me.
In the Hebrew Old Testament there are two forms of love that are used to describe God. The first is Ahab: it means to desire, to be inclined to, to delight in, to breathe after. I believe, as we have been made in His image, this type of love is part of who we are. It is a feeling, a very strong feeling.
The other kind of love used in Hebrew is Chesed: it describes loyalty, steadfastness, a covenant commitment. It accepts moral obligation for the welfare of the person who is loved. It is a kind of love that does not depend on the response or behavior of the receiver. This is a kind of love that is unique to the character of the only God. God does not depend on us to love Him back, He loves because we are His creation. No matter who we are and how hard we push Him away, God remains loyal. He has made a promise to us to love us...no matter what.
"I have loved you with an ever-lasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
The first love is ahab and the second is chesed: " ...I have stretched out commitment to you no matter what happens."
This love becomes very visible when we look at Jesus. Blood shed for a world who doesn't even know His name. In Greek, this is agape: unconditional love.
This love is what I have to keep coming back to. This love is what brought me out of the pit. This love is what keeps me sharing my story to a world who desperately needs healing. This love is redemption.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Holy God
I used to feel overwhelmed by the biblical account of the followers of God. The greats, like Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Joseph, Moses and David. Daniel and Jonah. Paul. John. Who am I compared to these? And yet, as I study more and more, I am learning they did not lead lives that I should care to follow.
Abraham had a dysfunctional family. And please...I do not want to have a child at 90. Isaac had twin boys whom he treated differently...favortism toward Esau did not help the brotherly bonds and Jacob...well, he was a deceiver! Jacob was also the deceived. He worked for 7 long years for his beloved Rachel only to wake up the morning after the wedding to find her sister Leah laying beside him. After working for 7 more years, he was able to marry his Rachel...but not without a price. Two wives and two maidservants gave him 12 sons and one daughter...and of all of them...he showed his favortism toward just one - Joseph. And it goes on and on. Joseph was sold into slavery and thrown in prison. Moses was called to help set the Israelites free - not an easy task. David, the 2nd king, was tempted and got Bathsheba pregnant. And because of his war history was never able to see the temple built. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Paul persecuted Christians and was martyred. John...he was exiled to Patmos. But what would have been harder...he was the only disciple to live a long life. All the rest of his friends were killed. All of them.
But what did each of these men have that I should want to follow after? A special relationship with God. They spoke with Him. They loved Him. And even before they loved Him...they knew they were loved by Him. Abraham looked up and saw the stars...his descendants. Jacob saw the ladder. Moses saw Him in the burning bush. David was a man after God's own heart. Daniel would not bow down to another. Jonah witnessed (though was not excited about) the saving of thousands upon thousands of wicked people. Jesus stopped Paul in the road. John. John saw heaven come down and he saw his name on one of the stones. Yes! His name was already there before he was. God used broken and bruised people for His mighty work!
I can look at the stars and know that one of the stars that Abraham saw was for me. The promise that Abraham and Isaac and Jacob heard from God included me. I want to be a woman after God's own heart...and I can be. This isn't just for the man David. Jesus will stop any of us in the road when the time comes. And though my name is not on a pillar in heaven...His name is written on my forehead and on my heart.
And Moses, when he came down off the mountain...his face was shining. Radiating. I think God still does this today. That is part of His holiness. It is spectacular! And He makes us shine from the inside out.
"Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD." Psalm 4:6
And may that light shine through me!
Abraham had a dysfunctional family. And please...I do not want to have a child at 90. Isaac had twin boys whom he treated differently...favortism toward Esau did not help the brotherly bonds and Jacob...well, he was a deceiver! Jacob was also the deceived. He worked for 7 long years for his beloved Rachel only to wake up the morning after the wedding to find her sister Leah laying beside him. After working for 7 more years, he was able to marry his Rachel...but not without a price. Two wives and two maidservants gave him 12 sons and one daughter...and of all of them...he showed his favortism toward just one - Joseph. And it goes on and on. Joseph was sold into slavery and thrown in prison. Moses was called to help set the Israelites free - not an easy task. David, the 2nd king, was tempted and got Bathsheba pregnant. And because of his war history was never able to see the temple built. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Paul persecuted Christians and was martyred. John...he was exiled to Patmos. But what would have been harder...he was the only disciple to live a long life. All the rest of his friends were killed. All of them.
But what did each of these men have that I should want to follow after? A special relationship with God. They spoke with Him. They loved Him. And even before they loved Him...they knew they were loved by Him. Abraham looked up and saw the stars...his descendants. Jacob saw the ladder. Moses saw Him in the burning bush. David was a man after God's own heart. Daniel would not bow down to another. Jonah witnessed (though was not excited about) the saving of thousands upon thousands of wicked people. Jesus stopped Paul in the road. John. John saw heaven come down and he saw his name on one of the stones. Yes! His name was already there before he was. God used broken and bruised people for His mighty work!
I can look at the stars and know that one of the stars that Abraham saw was for me. The promise that Abraham and Isaac and Jacob heard from God included me. I want to be a woman after God's own heart...and I can be. This isn't just for the man David. Jesus will stop any of us in the road when the time comes. And though my name is not on a pillar in heaven...His name is written on my forehead and on my heart.
And Moses, when he came down off the mountain...his face was shining. Radiating. I think God still does this today. That is part of His holiness. It is spectacular! And He makes us shine from the inside out.
"Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD." Psalm 4:6
And may that light shine through me!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Drowning
I have been hyponotized with the image of the ocean of God. It is has been in the music I have been listening to, in the Scripture that I have been studying, in the relevance of where my life is at...instead of where it should be. I am drowning in this ocean.
And it occurred to me, what if that is the point.
I love the band NeedtoBreathe. In their song, "Something Beautiful" they sing, "In Your ocean I'm ankle deep. I feel the waves crashing on my feet. It's like I know where I need to be but I can't figure out just how much air I will need to breathe when Your tide rushes over me..." and then, "And the water is coming quick. And for years I was scared of it. We can't be sure when it will subside. So I won't leave Your side. No, I can't leave Your side."
When it comes to God, what are we so scared of? David Crowder (my absolute favorite) writes, "If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking."
I do not want to be a person who just stands ankle deep in His ocean of grace. I want Him to pull His tide up and wash it over me. I want to drown in His grace and love. To swim in His glory. To breathe Him. That's what Yahweh, God's name, is. Breath. Every breath that we take in or let out speaks His name.
Psalm 90:2 says, "...from everlasting to everlasting you are God." The ocean will never go away. His love is deeper, wider, higher...and God wants to drown us in it.
Oh, to take that leap and for once believe that He will be faithful! I don't want to feel the waves crashing. I want to be turned over by them . What about you?
And it occurred to me, what if that is the point.
I love the band NeedtoBreathe. In their song, "Something Beautiful" they sing, "In Your ocean I'm ankle deep. I feel the waves crashing on my feet. It's like I know where I need to be but I can't figure out just how much air I will need to breathe when Your tide rushes over me..." and then, "And the water is coming quick. And for years I was scared of it. We can't be sure when it will subside. So I won't leave Your side. No, I can't leave Your side."
When it comes to God, what are we so scared of? David Crowder (my absolute favorite) writes, "If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking."
I do not want to be a person who just stands ankle deep in His ocean of grace. I want Him to pull His tide up and wash it over me. I want to drown in His grace and love. To swim in His glory. To breathe Him. That's what Yahweh, God's name, is. Breath. Every breath that we take in or let out speaks His name.
Psalm 90:2 says, "...from everlasting to everlasting you are God." The ocean will never go away. His love is deeper, wider, higher...and God wants to drown us in it.
Oh, to take that leap and for once believe that He will be faithful! I don't want to feel the waves crashing. I want to be turned over by them . What about you?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Live Like This
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and fatihfulness. Psalm 86:15
I am need of being reminded of this today. Too often I am short tempered with my children, not as compassionate and gracious to them as I should be and I know I don't always abound in love. Marlee even noticed at her teacher-parent conference that I used a different voice with her teacher than I do at home.
I feel like such a bad mom. A lot. I am tired because my kids get up in the middle of the night to tell me they have to blow thier nose. I don't always feel like cooking a healthy meal...can't we just have corndogs and chicken nuggets every day this week? I want alone time or adult conversation. Whine. Whine. Whine.
But God never feels that way about us. Because of that abounding love He disciplines us when we need it, He is present in our lives, He forgives too often to count in an hour and He holds us close to His heart even when we don't believe.
Though I have a hard time trusting sometimes...He has never given up on me. He has chased me down to show my that compassionate heart of His.
Oh that I could even be a sliver of a parent that He is. And because of His faithfulness, He will shine through me even on my bad days. Our God is mighty to save.
And I am blessed beyond measure that my God does not get tired of me asking Him to help me not get sick, He always supplies my needs in abundance and He craves my conversation...He loves it. And today I am thankful for such an example to try and live by...and when I fail...I am forgiven.
I am need of being reminded of this today. Too often I am short tempered with my children, not as compassionate and gracious to them as I should be and I know I don't always abound in love. Marlee even noticed at her teacher-parent conference that I used a different voice with her teacher than I do at home.
I feel like such a bad mom. A lot. I am tired because my kids get up in the middle of the night to tell me they have to blow thier nose. I don't always feel like cooking a healthy meal...can't we just have corndogs and chicken nuggets every day this week? I want alone time or adult conversation. Whine. Whine. Whine.
But God never feels that way about us. Because of that abounding love He disciplines us when we need it, He is present in our lives, He forgives too often to count in an hour and He holds us close to His heart even when we don't believe.
Though I have a hard time trusting sometimes...He has never given up on me. He has chased me down to show my that compassionate heart of His.
Oh that I could even be a sliver of a parent that He is. And because of His faithfulness, He will shine through me even on my bad days. Our God is mighty to save.
And I am blessed beyond measure that my God does not get tired of me asking Him to help me not get sick, He always supplies my needs in abundance and He craves my conversation...He loves it. And today I am thankful for such an example to try and live by...and when I fail...I am forgiven.
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