Free

I hate that feeling of being defeated. And, man, the enemy is so good at it. Everything in this world seems to tell me that nothing I do can ever be is good enough. I know that this weakness of feeling is what the enemy waits everyday to jump on.

Yesterday, my mom and I drove to Pocatello to celebrate the life of a man of God. Manfred Berndt loved his Jesus and served him. And as I sat in that church where I grew up with that man as my Pastor, where I was confirmed, where I was sent out on mission trips, where I served for five years...where I was defeated and devastated...the enemy began inching his way into that broken heart of mine. My eyes have shed tears today of the pain that I felt there.

But I cannot live in this place of defeat. Because, it was not all pain there. So much good happened. My faith increased, God worked miracles, I served faithfully for five years and was able to serve hundreds of people. So why does my mind continually tell me that I am no good. I think, because at this moment in this day I am not allowing the Word to wash over me. The Word that Manfred Berndt wanted shared at his celebration.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2

The enemy has no right to condemn me to worthlessness. I live in Christ Jesus, my Lord, who has raised me above this. I was not called to dwell in my pain...I was called to live in freedom...by the Spirit of life! Oh, Jesus, wash that over me moment by moment. Holy Spirit, remind me every minute that I am Yours. God of refuge, You are my Rock of salvation!

Glory be!

Raw Life

I need a Word from the Lord. Seriously. I am speaking in two weeks at the women's retreat at Camp Perkins. God has given me the map, I know where I am suppose to go...but my page is blank. The theme is MORE. And looking at my journal, that is what I need, just a little bit more.

I really am not worried about it...in fact I am waiting for God to wake me up one night and set me down at the table in the quietness of the house and let it flow. He does that sometimes. Thank goodness for prayer warriors whom I am sure God will wake up with me and will be sitting around the country at some silent moment and be praying.

But something did strike me tonight as I sit here at Moxie reading the Word. I was reading about Adam, trying to get a good grasp on the Hebrew translation and oh my, what our english misses is incredible.

Genesis 2:7, "...the Lord God formed the man froom the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."

When God formed the man, the Hebrew says that He squeezed the man from the clay...just as a potter forms his or her creation. God was so deliberate in the creating and then as that lifeless body lay there, God puffed or blew a blast of raw, fresh, strong life into that man.

As I sit here, alive...breathing, I know I need that breath. Though I am yes, alive, I need a blast a raw, fresh, strong life that sees the world that God created through new eyes. Through eyes that are in total relationship with Christ. And as I walk, I want to walk with God beside me...in conversation with me...with me listening. Oh, if I would only listen.

May God do that to you today too. May God puff a blast of life into you and may you walk remembering that every moment God is whispering to you, "Sweet child, that is for you. So is that." Look around and behold His glory.