The Israelites were in a pickle. They had just been passed over by the angel of death and they were on their way out Egypt. Hurry. Before Pharaoh changes his mind...again.
And they leave. And they walk. And they come to a body of water. What now? They call out to Moses, "Did you bring us out here to die?" Because, see, when they looked back...the army was advancing.
The time seems ripe for a miracle.
Moses tells the people, "Don't be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:13-14)
Four things to think about:
1. Don't fear.
2. Stand firm.
3. See.
4. Be still.
As the army approached with the order to kill...they were not to fear. God was in control. At some point, don't we just need to learn to trust His hands? There is army after army that comes after us...set to destroy us. Yet God, is in control. As Paul writes to the Romans, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Rom. 8:31) And then a little later, "...nothing can separate us from the love of God..." (Rom. 8:37-39).
Stand firm. Station yourself. Do not move. They cannot hurt you. Show them that you will no longer cower and bow down to them. Stand in the strength that God Himself gives to you.
Look around you. How far has God already brought you? I look at where I am and I must confess that I am blessed beyond description. Though times get tough, I am still held. Though life hurts, my hope is secure. My faith rests in Jesus and I know what the end result will be. God has brought me farther than I deserve and my journey is not yet over. What about you? What do you see when you look around?
Be still. Literally, from the Hebrew, scratch, engrave, hold peace. With that "...peace that passes all understanding..." (Phil. 4:7) you are scratching into the memory of those who are trying to pull you away that you cannot be moved because God is faithful and true. And I trust that God will also engrave it into my (and your) memory as well.
This week...with whatever comes up...I pray that you can hold onto this.
I pray that your fear will be stilled, that you will be able to stand firm, take inventory of what you already have and that it will be committed to your memory.
Trust God. As hard as it is sometimes. Let it go to Him.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Church
I had the privilege to go to Leavenworth, WA for a conference this last week. I was able to spend time listening and learning from a great teacher. But I was even more blessed to be able to meet with other DCE's from the Northwest District and be encouraged (and hopefully encourage them) and held up in prayer.
I have become very aware this last week what I have been missing. I have been in the NW District for almost 11 years and this was my first DCE conference. I have most certainly missed out on the fellowship and growth that I experienced this week.
We need each other. God created us as relational people who have a great desire to be with others...to do life with those around us.
We often miss out on this incredible gift because we think we need to go at it alone, or that no one else knows what we are going through, or that we aren't good enough. Too often we see church as too messed up so why would we want to be there?
So I am asking the question: Why not be there? Church can be messed up...but it is because it is made up of people like me. I most certainly am not perfect so please don't expect me to be when I walk through those doors. What I need and what I offer is to be there for the people who I worship with and serve with. When you need a meal...I am here. When you need to cry in sorrow or laugh in celebration...I am here. Do you need someone to pray for you or with you? What about accountability? What about when life sucks and you just aren't sure if you can make it through the night? Guess what? Me too. And everyone else that is sitting in the pews singing "Amazing Grace."
The writer of Hebrews says, "Don't give up meeting together...encourage one another." (10:25)
At what point did we decide that we needed to go this life alone? When did the church members have to become perfect?
Everyone sitting in church is singing the same thing, "...who saved a wretch like me..."
God is not expecting perfection. He took care that in Jesus.
Love. Forgive. Experience. Hope. Heal.
I have become very aware this last week what I have been missing. I have been in the NW District for almost 11 years and this was my first DCE conference. I have most certainly missed out on the fellowship and growth that I experienced this week.
We need each other. God created us as relational people who have a great desire to be with others...to do life with those around us.
We often miss out on this incredible gift because we think we need to go at it alone, or that no one else knows what we are going through, or that we aren't good enough. Too often we see church as too messed up so why would we want to be there?
So I am asking the question: Why not be there? Church can be messed up...but it is because it is made up of people like me. I most certainly am not perfect so please don't expect me to be when I walk through those doors. What I need and what I offer is to be there for the people who I worship with and serve with. When you need a meal...I am here. When you need to cry in sorrow or laugh in celebration...I am here. Do you need someone to pray for you or with you? What about accountability? What about when life sucks and you just aren't sure if you can make it through the night? Guess what? Me too. And everyone else that is sitting in the pews singing "Amazing Grace."
The writer of Hebrews says, "Don't give up meeting together...encourage one another." (10:25)
At what point did we decide that we needed to go this life alone? When did the church members have to become perfect?
Everyone sitting in church is singing the same thing, "...who saved a wretch like me..."
God is not expecting perfection. He took care that in Jesus.
Love. Forgive. Experience. Hope. Heal.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I Am The Receiver
I am often overwhelmed with my past. There is not much to proud of or to speak of there. I was a complete disaster. And though that is not who I am now...my past does creep up on me at times and slap me across the face. I am a former pit-dweller and every now and then I return to my pit - the one I decorated and lived in for so long - and I allow the memories to wash over me and even begin to choke me.
I am secure in who I am in Christ...please don't get me wrong. I have been rescued and God has no desire for me to jump down into the past so that I can be burdened again. By His grace I was, as I said, rescued and He has used it in incredible ways. Ways that I never thought possible and have brought hundreds, I am sure, to a place where healing can begin. I have confidence, like Joseph, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)
When the old feelings begin, when satan whispers in my ear, I only need to go to Scripture to be reminded of a love that does not end...and does not even depend on me.
In the Hebrew Old Testament there are two forms of love that are used to describe God. The first is Ahab: it means to desire, to be inclined to, to delight in, to breathe after. I believe, as we have been made in His image, this type of love is part of who we are. It is a feeling, a very strong feeling.
The other kind of love used in Hebrew is Chesed: it describes loyalty, steadfastness, a covenant commitment. It accepts moral obligation for the welfare of the person who is loved. It is a kind of love that does not depend on the response or behavior of the receiver. This is a kind of love that is unique to the character of the only God. God does not depend on us to love Him back, He loves because we are His creation. No matter who we are and how hard we push Him away, God remains loyal. He has made a promise to us to love us...no matter what.
"I have loved you with an ever-lasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
The first love is ahab and the second is chesed: " ...I have stretched out commitment to you no matter what happens."
This love becomes very visible when we look at Jesus. Blood shed for a world who doesn't even know His name. In Greek, this is agape: unconditional love.
This love is what I have to keep coming back to. This love is what brought me out of the pit. This love is what keeps me sharing my story to a world who desperately needs healing. This love is redemption.
I am secure in who I am in Christ...please don't get me wrong. I have been rescued and God has no desire for me to jump down into the past so that I can be burdened again. By His grace I was, as I said, rescued and He has used it in incredible ways. Ways that I never thought possible and have brought hundreds, I am sure, to a place where healing can begin. I have confidence, like Joseph, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)
When the old feelings begin, when satan whispers in my ear, I only need to go to Scripture to be reminded of a love that does not end...and does not even depend on me.
In the Hebrew Old Testament there are two forms of love that are used to describe God. The first is Ahab: it means to desire, to be inclined to, to delight in, to breathe after. I believe, as we have been made in His image, this type of love is part of who we are. It is a feeling, a very strong feeling.
The other kind of love used in Hebrew is Chesed: it describes loyalty, steadfastness, a covenant commitment. It accepts moral obligation for the welfare of the person who is loved. It is a kind of love that does not depend on the response or behavior of the receiver. This is a kind of love that is unique to the character of the only God. God does not depend on us to love Him back, He loves because we are His creation. No matter who we are and how hard we push Him away, God remains loyal. He has made a promise to us to love us...no matter what.
"I have loved you with an ever-lasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
The first love is ahab and the second is chesed: " ...I have stretched out commitment to you no matter what happens."
This love becomes very visible when we look at Jesus. Blood shed for a world who doesn't even know His name. In Greek, this is agape: unconditional love.
This love is what I have to keep coming back to. This love is what brought me out of the pit. This love is what keeps me sharing my story to a world who desperately needs healing. This love is redemption.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Holy God
I used to feel overwhelmed by the biblical account of the followers of God. The greats, like Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Joseph, Moses and David. Daniel and Jonah. Paul. John. Who am I compared to these? And yet, as I study more and more, I am learning they did not lead lives that I should care to follow.
Abraham had a dysfunctional family. And please...I do not want to have a child at 90. Isaac had twin boys whom he treated differently...favortism toward Esau did not help the brotherly bonds and Jacob...well, he was a deceiver! Jacob was also the deceived. He worked for 7 long years for his beloved Rachel only to wake up the morning after the wedding to find her sister Leah laying beside him. After working for 7 more years, he was able to marry his Rachel...but not without a price. Two wives and two maidservants gave him 12 sons and one daughter...and of all of them...he showed his favortism toward just one - Joseph. And it goes on and on. Joseph was sold into slavery and thrown in prison. Moses was called to help set the Israelites free - not an easy task. David, the 2nd king, was tempted and got Bathsheba pregnant. And because of his war history was never able to see the temple built. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Paul persecuted Christians and was martyred. John...he was exiled to Patmos. But what would have been harder...he was the only disciple to live a long life. All the rest of his friends were killed. All of them.
But what did each of these men have that I should want to follow after? A special relationship with God. They spoke with Him. They loved Him. And even before they loved Him...they knew they were loved by Him. Abraham looked up and saw the stars...his descendants. Jacob saw the ladder. Moses saw Him in the burning bush. David was a man after God's own heart. Daniel would not bow down to another. Jonah witnessed (though was not excited about) the saving of thousands upon thousands of wicked people. Jesus stopped Paul in the road. John. John saw heaven come down and he saw his name on one of the stones. Yes! His name was already there before he was. God used broken and bruised people for His mighty work!
I can look at the stars and know that one of the stars that Abraham saw was for me. The promise that Abraham and Isaac and Jacob heard from God included me. I want to be a woman after God's own heart...and I can be. This isn't just for the man David. Jesus will stop any of us in the road when the time comes. And though my name is not on a pillar in heaven...His name is written on my forehead and on my heart.
And Moses, when he came down off the mountain...his face was shining. Radiating. I think God still does this today. That is part of His holiness. It is spectacular! And He makes us shine from the inside out.
"Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD." Psalm 4:6
And may that light shine through me!
Abraham had a dysfunctional family. And please...I do not want to have a child at 90. Isaac had twin boys whom he treated differently...favortism toward Esau did not help the brotherly bonds and Jacob...well, he was a deceiver! Jacob was also the deceived. He worked for 7 long years for his beloved Rachel only to wake up the morning after the wedding to find her sister Leah laying beside him. After working for 7 more years, he was able to marry his Rachel...but not without a price. Two wives and two maidservants gave him 12 sons and one daughter...and of all of them...he showed his favortism toward just one - Joseph. And it goes on and on. Joseph was sold into slavery and thrown in prison. Moses was called to help set the Israelites free - not an easy task. David, the 2nd king, was tempted and got Bathsheba pregnant. And because of his war history was never able to see the temple built. Daniel was thrown into a den of lions. Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Paul persecuted Christians and was martyred. John...he was exiled to Patmos. But what would have been harder...he was the only disciple to live a long life. All the rest of his friends were killed. All of them.
But what did each of these men have that I should want to follow after? A special relationship with God. They spoke with Him. They loved Him. And even before they loved Him...they knew they were loved by Him. Abraham looked up and saw the stars...his descendants. Jacob saw the ladder. Moses saw Him in the burning bush. David was a man after God's own heart. Daniel would not bow down to another. Jonah witnessed (though was not excited about) the saving of thousands upon thousands of wicked people. Jesus stopped Paul in the road. John. John saw heaven come down and he saw his name on one of the stones. Yes! His name was already there before he was. God used broken and bruised people for His mighty work!
I can look at the stars and know that one of the stars that Abraham saw was for me. The promise that Abraham and Isaac and Jacob heard from God included me. I want to be a woman after God's own heart...and I can be. This isn't just for the man David. Jesus will stop any of us in the road when the time comes. And though my name is not on a pillar in heaven...His name is written on my forehead and on my heart.
And Moses, when he came down off the mountain...his face was shining. Radiating. I think God still does this today. That is part of His holiness. It is spectacular! And He makes us shine from the inside out.
"Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD." Psalm 4:6
And may that light shine through me!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Drowning
I have been hyponotized with the image of the ocean of God. It is has been in the music I have been listening to, in the Scripture that I have been studying, in the relevance of where my life is at...instead of where it should be. I am drowning in this ocean.
And it occurred to me, what if that is the point.
I love the band NeedtoBreathe. In their song, "Something Beautiful" they sing, "In Your ocean I'm ankle deep. I feel the waves crashing on my feet. It's like I know where I need to be but I can't figure out just how much air I will need to breathe when Your tide rushes over me..." and then, "And the water is coming quick. And for years I was scared of it. We can't be sure when it will subside. So I won't leave Your side. No, I can't leave Your side."
When it comes to God, what are we so scared of? David Crowder (my absolute favorite) writes, "If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking."
I do not want to be a person who just stands ankle deep in His ocean of grace. I want Him to pull His tide up and wash it over me. I want to drown in His grace and love. To swim in His glory. To breathe Him. That's what Yahweh, God's name, is. Breath. Every breath that we take in or let out speaks His name.
Psalm 90:2 says, "...from everlasting to everlasting you are God." The ocean will never go away. His love is deeper, wider, higher...and God wants to drown us in it.
Oh, to take that leap and for once believe that He will be faithful! I don't want to feel the waves crashing. I want to be turned over by them . What about you?
And it occurred to me, what if that is the point.
I love the band NeedtoBreathe. In their song, "Something Beautiful" they sing, "In Your ocean I'm ankle deep. I feel the waves crashing on my feet. It's like I know where I need to be but I can't figure out just how much air I will need to breathe when Your tide rushes over me..." and then, "And the water is coming quick. And for years I was scared of it. We can't be sure when it will subside. So I won't leave Your side. No, I can't leave Your side."
When it comes to God, what are we so scared of? David Crowder (my absolute favorite) writes, "If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking."
I do not want to be a person who just stands ankle deep in His ocean of grace. I want Him to pull His tide up and wash it over me. I want to drown in His grace and love. To swim in His glory. To breathe Him. That's what Yahweh, God's name, is. Breath. Every breath that we take in or let out speaks His name.
Psalm 90:2 says, "...from everlasting to everlasting you are God." The ocean will never go away. His love is deeper, wider, higher...and God wants to drown us in it.
Oh, to take that leap and for once believe that He will be faithful! I don't want to feel the waves crashing. I want to be turned over by them . What about you?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Live Like This
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and fatihfulness. Psalm 86:15
I am need of being reminded of this today. Too often I am short tempered with my children, not as compassionate and gracious to them as I should be and I know I don't always abound in love. Marlee even noticed at her teacher-parent conference that I used a different voice with her teacher than I do at home.
I feel like such a bad mom. A lot. I am tired because my kids get up in the middle of the night to tell me they have to blow thier nose. I don't always feel like cooking a healthy meal...can't we just have corndogs and chicken nuggets every day this week? I want alone time or adult conversation. Whine. Whine. Whine.
But God never feels that way about us. Because of that abounding love He disciplines us when we need it, He is present in our lives, He forgives too often to count in an hour and He holds us close to His heart even when we don't believe.
Though I have a hard time trusting sometimes...He has never given up on me. He has chased me down to show my that compassionate heart of His.
Oh that I could even be a sliver of a parent that He is. And because of His faithfulness, He will shine through me even on my bad days. Our God is mighty to save.
And I am blessed beyond measure that my God does not get tired of me asking Him to help me not get sick, He always supplies my needs in abundance and He craves my conversation...He loves it. And today I am thankful for such an example to try and live by...and when I fail...I am forgiven.
I am need of being reminded of this today. Too often I am short tempered with my children, not as compassionate and gracious to them as I should be and I know I don't always abound in love. Marlee even noticed at her teacher-parent conference that I used a different voice with her teacher than I do at home.
I feel like such a bad mom. A lot. I am tired because my kids get up in the middle of the night to tell me they have to blow thier nose. I don't always feel like cooking a healthy meal...can't we just have corndogs and chicken nuggets every day this week? I want alone time or adult conversation. Whine. Whine. Whine.
But God never feels that way about us. Because of that abounding love He disciplines us when we need it, He is present in our lives, He forgives too often to count in an hour and He holds us close to His heart even when we don't believe.
Though I have a hard time trusting sometimes...He has never given up on me. He has chased me down to show my that compassionate heart of His.
Oh that I could even be a sliver of a parent that He is. And because of His faithfulness, He will shine through me even on my bad days. Our God is mighty to save.
And I am blessed beyond measure that my God does not get tired of me asking Him to help me not get sick, He always supplies my needs in abundance and He craves my conversation...He loves it. And today I am thankful for such an example to try and live by...and when I fail...I am forgiven.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Free
I hate that feeling of being defeated. And, man, the enemy is so good at it. Everything in this world seems to tell me that nothing I do can ever be is good enough. I know that this weakness of feeling is what the enemy waits everyday to jump on.
Yesterday, my mom and I drove to Pocatello to celebrate the life of a man of God. Manfred Berndt loved his Jesus and served him. And as I sat in that church where I grew up with that man as my Pastor, where I was confirmed, where I was sent out on mission trips, where I served for five years...where I was defeated and devastated...the enemy began inching his way into that broken heart of mine. My eyes have shed tears today of the pain that I felt there.
But I cannot live in this place of defeat. Because, it was not all pain there. So much good happened. My faith increased, God worked miracles, I served faithfully for five years and was able to serve hundreds of people. So why does my mind continually tell me that I am no good. I think, because at this moment in this day I am not allowing the Word to wash over me. The Word that Manfred Berndt wanted shared at his celebration.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2
The enemy has no right to condemn me to worthlessness. I live in Christ Jesus, my Lord, who has raised me above this. I was not called to dwell in my pain...I was called to live in freedom...by the Spirit of life! Oh, Jesus, wash that over me moment by moment. Holy Spirit, remind me every minute that I am Yours. God of refuge, You are my Rock of salvation!
Glory be!
Yesterday, my mom and I drove to Pocatello to celebrate the life of a man of God. Manfred Berndt loved his Jesus and served him. And as I sat in that church where I grew up with that man as my Pastor, where I was confirmed, where I was sent out on mission trips, where I served for five years...where I was defeated and devastated...the enemy began inching his way into that broken heart of mine. My eyes have shed tears today of the pain that I felt there.
But I cannot live in this place of defeat. Because, it was not all pain there. So much good happened. My faith increased, God worked miracles, I served faithfully for five years and was able to serve hundreds of people. So why does my mind continually tell me that I am no good. I think, because at this moment in this day I am not allowing the Word to wash over me. The Word that Manfred Berndt wanted shared at his celebration.
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:1-2
The enemy has no right to condemn me to worthlessness. I live in Christ Jesus, my Lord, who has raised me above this. I was not called to dwell in my pain...I was called to live in freedom...by the Spirit of life! Oh, Jesus, wash that over me moment by moment. Holy Spirit, remind me every minute that I am Yours. God of refuge, You are my Rock of salvation!
Glory be!
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