Still Farther. This will be theme when I speak at the Women's Retreat at Camp Perkins this coming fall. Still Farther. I am only 34 years old. There is so much more life to happen.
When David became king he fell onto his knees, went back onto his haunches and prayed in total awe, "Who am I, O Sovereign LORD, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?" 2 Samuel 7:18.
David was praying this before Bathsheba, other wars, Mephibosheth...before his family turned on him. He had come so far...yet he still had farther to go. And even in the midst of sin and death and grief...he had moments of joy and triumph and peace. And at the end, when he had gone the farthest God would allow, David gave glory to the Almighty.
I am like David. It seems like I have come so far; and I know I have, really. But there is so much more. Who am I, God, that you have let me come this far...and there is father still to go. God, I want to bless you. Make my life an offering to you.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
I Am A Farmer's Daughter
My dad was a farmer in Fruitland, ID when I was little. During the harvest he would let me climb up in the combine with him, I loved that time. It gave me a chance to get away from my brothers and just spend time with my dad. Rarely did I get alone time with dad, I was a busy little girl with mud puddles to jump in and ditches to play in, but on occasion I left my dirty world behind and stood above with my dad.
It was breath-taking up there; it looked so different. The world seemed so much bigger up there. I was sure that I could see forever! And the peace. It was so incredibly peaceful up in the cab of the combine. Not quiet, but it was soothing. I liked listening to the hum of that big machine and I loved sitting upon my dad's knee. It was perfect. And then, somehow, I would wake up on the floor of the cab of the combine. I had fallen asleep in perfect contentment next to my dad. He let me rest.
1 Peter 5:7 tells us, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." When I cast all of troubles, concerns, and anxiety on Him it is amazing what He does. God gives me a different perspective of life. God offers me the freedom to look at the world as He does. My Father gives me a "peace that passes all understanding" because He reminds me that everything is in His hands and will happen in His time. He lets me rest because He knows that worrisome days and sleepless nights are not good for my body.
And why? Why would God want me in this place? For the same reason my dad would take me up in the combine - because He loves me more than I could ever dream and He wants to spend time with me. Me! Of all people! The same God that spoke light into the world whispers how much He loves me in my ear.
Give Him everything you got. Your stuff cannot scare Him away. His promises are for you, He will be faithful! He will never let you down because He cares for you.
It was breath-taking up there; it looked so different. The world seemed so much bigger up there. I was sure that I could see forever! And the peace. It was so incredibly peaceful up in the cab of the combine. Not quiet, but it was soothing. I liked listening to the hum of that big machine and I loved sitting upon my dad's knee. It was perfect. And then, somehow, I would wake up on the floor of the cab of the combine. I had fallen asleep in perfect contentment next to my dad. He let me rest.
1 Peter 5:7 tells us, "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." When I cast all of troubles, concerns, and anxiety on Him it is amazing what He does. God gives me a different perspective of life. God offers me the freedom to look at the world as He does. My Father gives me a "peace that passes all understanding" because He reminds me that everything is in His hands and will happen in His time. He lets me rest because He knows that worrisome days and sleepless nights are not good for my body.
And why? Why would God want me in this place? For the same reason my dad would take me up in the combine - because He loves me more than I could ever dream and He wants to spend time with me. Me! Of all people! The same God that spoke light into the world whispers how much He loves me in my ear.
Give Him everything you got. Your stuff cannot scare Him away. His promises are for you, He will be faithful! He will never let you down because He cares for you.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Ebeneezer
Do you have yours? Your Ebeneezer?
"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebeneezer, saying, 'Thus far has the Lord helped us.'" 1 Samuel 7:12
A rock of help. That is simply what is. This rock helped Samuel and God's people remember what God had done for them. It helped them remember how He saved them and gave them victory over their enemy.
My Ebeneezer is actually at Camp Perkins. I visit it everytime I go up there. It is a place where God met me and forgave me and revealed Himself to me in a very real way. I sat on that rock, by the swimming area, crying and confessing and seeking something that was not deserved...forgiveness; and God gave Himself to me that day. It was the day I knew that He was real, that He was there, that He had something so much better for me than I could ever imagine. It was the day that I knew I would be a DCE and serve Him. I was 14.
I go back to that place every year to be reminded of how far God has helped me. I have sat on that rock at various times of my life confessing again and seeking fogiveness again. I know victory on that rock - battles have been won on that rock! And on that rock I worship The-God-Who-Sees-Me for who I am and loves beyond measure anyway. I offer my hands and heart to Him because of where I am now.
I should be dead. Probably physically - for sure spiritually. But He would not allow it. I am a benefit to Him. He looks at me and laughs with joy because we get to spend eternity together. All I can do is say thank you and share my heart and life for Jesus.
Where is your Ebeneezer? What happened to you there? Can you share it with me?
"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebeneezer, saying, 'Thus far has the Lord helped us.'" 1 Samuel 7:12
A rock of help. That is simply what is. This rock helped Samuel and God's people remember what God had done for them. It helped them remember how He saved them and gave them victory over their enemy.
My Ebeneezer is actually at Camp Perkins. I visit it everytime I go up there. It is a place where God met me and forgave me and revealed Himself to me in a very real way. I sat on that rock, by the swimming area, crying and confessing and seeking something that was not deserved...forgiveness; and God gave Himself to me that day. It was the day I knew that He was real, that He was there, that He had something so much better for me than I could ever imagine. It was the day that I knew I would be a DCE and serve Him. I was 14.
I go back to that place every year to be reminded of how far God has helped me. I have sat on that rock at various times of my life confessing again and seeking fogiveness again. I know victory on that rock - battles have been won on that rock! And on that rock I worship The-God-Who-Sees-Me for who I am and loves beyond measure anyway. I offer my hands and heart to Him because of where I am now.
I should be dead. Probably physically - for sure spiritually. But He would not allow it. I am a benefit to Him. He looks at me and laughs with joy because we get to spend eternity together. All I can do is say thank you and share my heart and life for Jesus.
Where is your Ebeneezer? What happened to you there? Can you share it with me?
Monday, April 5, 2010
Light In The Darkness
I stared at the mountain before me while I was driving home tonight. Ok, so it isn't right before me...it's like 30 miles away. But still, I was watching the mountain. And though it was dark all around that mountain, I could see a car coming down Bogus Basin Road. The light was shining through the darkness and I could see it from as where I was at.
John writes about Jesus, "The light shines in the darkness..." In a dark and dying world, the promised One came and His light could not be ignored. His light - the light that exposed all the evil, that exposed all the sin, that exposed Satan himself - His light shot out into the darkness to bring knowledge and peace and love and forgiveness. His light made us able to look at God.
But it didn't end there. Though, it looked like darkness won when Christ died, that battle was far from over. The Light overcame that darkness and defeated death. No more fear. No more worries. "Oh death, where is your victory? Where is your sting?"
But it still hasn't ended. "For you were once in darkness, but now you are the light of the Lord. Live as children of the light." Do you understand? Christ's light does not just shine down from heaven. It is not just something we daydream about on Easter morning. Christ's light is alive and dwelling and shining in and through us. You. Me.
This is some kind of wonderful. Because I don't know about you...but sometimes, I think I must be filled with darkness. My life is so far from perfect. I cringe at myself.
But just like that car coming down from Bogus Basin so far away...just as the little headlights pierced the darkness of this April night; so, too, does Christ's light shine through my darkness, expose my sin and then pour over me His grace.
Grace so amazing that my greatest desire is to live as a child of the Light.
John writes about Jesus, "The light shines in the darkness..." In a dark and dying world, the promised One came and His light could not be ignored. His light - the light that exposed all the evil, that exposed all the sin, that exposed Satan himself - His light shot out into the darkness to bring knowledge and peace and love and forgiveness. His light made us able to look at God.
But it didn't end there. Though, it looked like darkness won when Christ died, that battle was far from over. The Light overcame that darkness and defeated death. No more fear. No more worries. "Oh death, where is your victory? Where is your sting?"
But it still hasn't ended. "For you were once in darkness, but now you are the light of the Lord. Live as children of the light." Do you understand? Christ's light does not just shine down from heaven. It is not just something we daydream about on Easter morning. Christ's light is alive and dwelling and shining in and through us. You. Me.
This is some kind of wonderful. Because I don't know about you...but sometimes, I think I must be filled with darkness. My life is so far from perfect. I cringe at myself.
But just like that car coming down from Bogus Basin so far away...just as the little headlights pierced the darkness of this April night; so, too, does Christ's light shine through my darkness, expose my sin and then pour over me His grace.
Grace so amazing that my greatest desire is to live as a child of the Light.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Pursued
Today was a great church day. I was able to hear and internalize what pastor preached about. This does not happen often, seriously. With three girls who are up and down all the time, who need to get a drink or they will die, who have to go to the bathroom so bad, who even have the blow thier nose or their life will end...I feel often as I am there only to tell them to "shhh." But today, I was able to sit and listen (and the girls did too).
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life..." Psalm 23:6.
I have pondered, taught, meditated, shared, been preached at and even heard this at many funerals. This psalm was the main message of my great grandma's funeral in fact. I love it. I, like so many, find comfort in this psalm of David. It is beautifully written and, I think, most people can relate to it in some way or another.
But this verse at the end of the psalm...goodness and love will follow me. The english does not do this psalm it's justice. Flip over to the Hebrew language and you get 'radaph': to run after, chase, hunt, pursue.
Do you get it? God is not following us from a distance trying to just sprinkle us with His goodness (pleasure, joy, kindness, bounty, wealth) and love (beauty, mercy, favor)...absolutley not! He is hunting us down, endlessly pursuing us and forcing His uncounditional nature on us whether we like it or not. Why? Because He is desparate for us. Because we need Him.
As I look at unbelievers I think, "God's goodness and love does not skip them. They are so blessed...they just don't know it." And as a believer, it hasn't stopped either. God still pursues me moment by moment because He loves me. I need to remember that. I need to reminded that I am still a pursued and sought after woman of God. I need that from the God Who Sees Me.
Take a moment today and be the one from the 10 who came back to thank God for pursuing you.
"Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life..." Psalm 23:6.
I have pondered, taught, meditated, shared, been preached at and even heard this at many funerals. This psalm was the main message of my great grandma's funeral in fact. I love it. I, like so many, find comfort in this psalm of David. It is beautifully written and, I think, most people can relate to it in some way or another.
But this verse at the end of the psalm...goodness and love will follow me. The english does not do this psalm it's justice. Flip over to the Hebrew language and you get 'radaph': to run after, chase, hunt, pursue.
Do you get it? God is not following us from a distance trying to just sprinkle us with His goodness (pleasure, joy, kindness, bounty, wealth) and love (beauty, mercy, favor)...absolutley not! He is hunting us down, endlessly pursuing us and forcing His uncounditional nature on us whether we like it or not. Why? Because He is desparate for us. Because we need Him.
As I look at unbelievers I think, "God's goodness and love does not skip them. They are so blessed...they just don't know it." And as a believer, it hasn't stopped either. God still pursues me moment by moment because He loves me. I need to remember that. I need to reminded that I am still a pursued and sought after woman of God. I need that from the God Who Sees Me.
Take a moment today and be the one from the 10 who came back to thank God for pursuing you.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Just Forget It
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead." Philippians 3:13
This scripture always takes me back to Mexico. Three times it has been a focus scripture - the verses 12-14 have great importance to me. Of all the speakers over the years and different lessons I have heard while there - three times I have (for a full week) been taught from the section. God must be really trying to teach me something here.
The last time I was there, in 2006, I was pregnant, uncomfortable yet completely loving every moment. Gary, the speaker, was teaching about the "forgetting" phrase.
When we look at our bodies...every piece of us faces forward with the exception of our butts. Our eyes, mouths, ears, feet, hands...it all is forward facing. In fact, we were created in such forwardness that is hard to and we have to strain to look behind. It is hindering to look back. Even dangerous at times - like when driving (or rollerskating as I learned yesterday at a church function) - to glance behind.
And the one part of us that does face back, was created for the purpose of getting rid of our garbage. We don't even like to look at what comes out (unless you are Oprah and you are seeing if it makes an "s".)
In this set of verses, Paul is telling us to look ahead - to keep the end of the race in view. He tells us to forget about what is behind, because really, does it matter? Was there a mistake? Fine! Learn from it and move forward. It is not good for runner to be looking back at a misstep because he will trip on what he is not watching out for.
Forget about it! Leave the crap behind you and strain toward what is ahead.
I love the next part, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." A competitor presses on. We look ahead for the finish line - heaven should be on our horizon.
What a glorious finish. Don't look back, it isn't worth it. Learn from it, forget about it and keep your eye on the goal.
This scripture always takes me back to Mexico. Three times it has been a focus scripture - the verses 12-14 have great importance to me. Of all the speakers over the years and different lessons I have heard while there - three times I have (for a full week) been taught from the section. God must be really trying to teach me something here.
The last time I was there, in 2006, I was pregnant, uncomfortable yet completely loving every moment. Gary, the speaker, was teaching about the "forgetting" phrase.
When we look at our bodies...every piece of us faces forward with the exception of our butts. Our eyes, mouths, ears, feet, hands...it all is forward facing. In fact, we were created in such forwardness that is hard to and we have to strain to look behind. It is hindering to look back. Even dangerous at times - like when driving (or rollerskating as I learned yesterday at a church function) - to glance behind.
And the one part of us that does face back, was created for the purpose of getting rid of our garbage. We don't even like to look at what comes out (unless you are Oprah and you are seeing if it makes an "s".)
In this set of verses, Paul is telling us to look ahead - to keep the end of the race in view. He tells us to forget about what is behind, because really, does it matter? Was there a mistake? Fine! Learn from it and move forward. It is not good for runner to be looking back at a misstep because he will trip on what he is not watching out for.
Forget about it! Leave the crap behind you and strain toward what is ahead.
I love the next part, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." A competitor presses on. We look ahead for the finish line - heaven should be on our horizon.
What a glorious finish. Don't look back, it isn't worth it. Learn from it, forget about it and keep your eye on the goal.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Trying Out Hope
A man with leprosy came down and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Matthew 8:2
How many times have I said, "God, I am willing." Or, I've said it in a variety of ways, "Lord, heal me," "Lord, help me," "Lord, I want this...can you give it to me?" "Lord, I just want to stop hurting."
But looking at this Scripture, I am being taught to, maybe, speak to God another way.
This man has leprosy. He is has been outcast from society...especically by the people of God. He is unclean and unloved. Never touched because the sight of him drove fear into people.
So easily he could have called to Jesus from his square of the world, "Heal me!" But he didn't. When he saw Jesus, he went directly to him and knelt before Him. And what does he say?
"Lord, if you are willing..."
This diseased man knows that it is all about Jesus. It has nothing to do with him, but everything to do with the Son of God.
And then he states the obvious, "you can..."
Of course Jesus can! But I rarely have the faith that He can. Maybe I look at my unworthiness and think, "why would He want to?"
I must look at this lepor and learn, it is not about me, it is all about Jesus.
"You can..." and I believe it! Oh, to have faith like this! To know and acknowledge what God can do and seek Him in His Will.
And I believe, when I approach, like this man, Jesus will look at me and say, "I am willing."
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