Drowning

I have been hyponotized with the image of the ocean of God. It is has been in the music I have been listening to, in the Scripture that I have been studying, in the relevance of where my life is at...instead of where it should be. I am drowning in this ocean.

And it occurred to me, what if that is the point.

I love the band NeedtoBreathe. In their song, "Something Beautiful" they sing, "In Your ocean I'm ankle deep. I feel the waves crashing on my feet. It's like I know where I need to be but I can't figure out just how much air I will need to breathe when Your tide rushes over me..." and then, "And the water is coming quick. And for years I was scared of it. We can't be sure when it will subside. So I won't leave Your side. No, I can't leave Your side."

When it comes to God, what are we so scared of? David Crowder (my absolute favorite) writes, "If His grace is an ocean we're all sinking."

I do not want to be a person who just stands ankle deep in His ocean of grace. I want Him to pull His tide up and wash it over me. I want to drown in His grace and love. To swim in His glory. To breathe Him. That's what Yahweh, God's name, is. Breath. Every breath that we take in or let out speaks His name.

Psalm 90:2 says, "...from everlasting to everlasting you are God." The ocean will never go away. His love is deeper, wider, higher...and God wants to drown us in it.

Oh, to take that leap and for once believe that He will be faithful! I don't want to feel the waves crashing. I want to be turned over by them . What about you?

Live Like This

But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and fatihfulness. Psalm 86:15

I am need of being reminded of this today. Too often I am short tempered with my children, not as compassionate and gracious to them as I should be and I know I don't always abound in love. Marlee even noticed at her teacher-parent conference that I used a different voice with her teacher than I do at home.

I feel like such a bad mom. A lot. I am tired because my kids get up in the middle of the night to tell me they have to blow thier nose. I don't always feel like cooking a healthy meal...can't we just have corndogs and chicken nuggets every day this week? I want alone time or adult conversation. Whine. Whine. Whine.

But God never feels that way about us. Because of that abounding love He disciplines us when we need it, He is present in our lives, He forgives too often to count in an hour and He holds us close to His heart even when we don't believe.

Though I have a hard time trusting sometimes...He has never given up on me. He has chased me down to show my that compassionate heart of His.

Oh that I could even be a sliver of a parent that He is. And because of His faithfulness, He will shine through me even on my bad days. Our God is mighty to save.

And I am blessed beyond measure that my God does not get tired of me asking Him to help me not get sick, He always supplies my needs in abundance and He craves my conversation...He loves it. And today I am thankful for such an example to try and live by...and when I fail...I am forgiven.